} The supplicant whistled as he locked the door to his house and headed
} to his car. He had been feeling good all morning, ever since he had
} woken up to see the sun shining, gotten his cup of coffee, and done the
} one thing truly necessary to confirm the start of the new day: sending
} off a cheerful question to the ever humorous Internet Oracle. What
} could go wrong on a beautiful day like this?
} As he stepped over to his car, he noticed that a bird had used his
} windshield as a lavatory. Several times. But that was okay: he just
} got out his trusty cleaning rag and spray and rubbed it right off. And
} since he had left for work two hours earlier than he needed too, there
} was still no rush.
} He got in and drove down the street, waving at his smiling neighbors.
} "How can a day get any better than this?" he thought to himself as he
} absent mindedly backed over his mail box, crushing it. Seeing what he
} had done, he grinned sheepishly and went and chopped off a branch,
} which he then proceeded to carve into a new pole to replace the broken
} out before he continued on his way to the freeway on-ramp.
} Not ten seconds later, traffic crawled to a halt. But the supplicant
} didn't mind, because he was still one and a half hours ahead of
} schedule and he had his favorite tape playing. Just then, the tape
} deck began to screech and ooze out the melted tape. He frowned, but it
} was okay, because he could always listen to the radio.
} Thirty minutes later, he had moved ten feet forward. And then his
} radio went out. That distracted him, but he didn't mind because he
} could spend the time wondering what had happened to the radio. And he
} still had an hour before he needed to get to work.
} Seven minutes later, a falling radio satellite crashed down from the
} sky and crushed his car, causing a huge fire. Luckily, a courageous
} motorist in a different vehicle pulled him out just in time before his
} car exploded in a massive fireball, and the EMTs that arrived thirty
} minutes later took him off to the hospital to be treated for the third
} degree burns over 90% of his body. But he didn't mind, mainly because
} he was unconscious. Even had he been conscious, though, he would still
} not have minded, because he would have been satisfied knowing why his
} radio had suddenly stopped working.
} Half an hour later, he woke up in the Emergency Room, during a surgery.
} He began screaming, but he didn't mind too much, because he realized
} that it would have been time for work now, and this would certainly be
} considered an excused absence.
} That evening, they even rolled a computer next to his hospital bed so
} that he could check his e-mail from the day. "How nice of them," he
} thought. "I was pessimistic to think that a disaster could come and
} ruin such a nice day." And there in his inbox was the answer to the
} question he had asked that morning.
} He smiled gleefully, causing himself only minor discomfort by
} stretching the burnt flesh, as he opened the message.
} --msg 1 of 1--
} The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
} > O Oracle, omniscient and precognitive,
} > What disastrous event will ruin this wonderful day?
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} } hOw shOulD I nO
} } ZZZZZZZZZ-OT!
} --end msg 1 of 1--
} And then the supplicant broke down in tears, for the answer was
} terrible, and receiving it had ruined his whole day.