} Oh seeker after wisdom, your question is indeed an upright one.
} Upon receiving your query, the initiates of the oracle did begin
} immediate investigation. The vestal virgins and acelibate priests
} were called in, and did perform all acts of pleasure with many
} and various brands/types of condoms.
} I, as The Oracle, did oversee this debauchery, and penetrated
} deep into the depths of the issue. As with many questions, the
} answer is complicated.
} You neglected to specify what you wanted to use these condoms
} for, so I will do my best.
} For water balloon action, non-lubricated plain Trojans are the best.
} Good, sturdy, work-horse latex tubes.
} For prevention of the transmission of sexually transmissible
} diseases, "natural" lamb condoms are the worst. Condoms treated with
} nonoxynol-9 and with a reservoir tip are best.
} For prevention of pregnancy, they are all rather similar, though
} the reservoir tip does reduce the chance of breakage slightly.
} For pure pleasure, and a good job at the above, LifeStyles are
} great. Take your pick from the different kinds. I like the Nuda,
} but the others are also good for your coital needs.
} And remember, all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.
} Hail Eris! Hail Inanna! Hail Yes!