[IO]
Internet Oracle
19 Sep 2017 home : about : create : digests : bestofs : specials : priests 20:35:54 GMT

Internet Oracularities #1018

Goto:
1018, 1018-01, 1018-02, 1018-03, 1018-04, 1018-05, 1018-06, 1018-07, 1018-08, 1018-09, 1018-10


Internet Oracularities #1018    (82 votes, 3.2 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Thu, 14 May 1998 09:59:52 -0500 (EST)

To find out all about the Internet Oracle, including how to participate,
send mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help" in the subject
line.

Let us know what you like!  Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very poor") to 5 ("very good") with the
volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to this
message).  For example:
   1018
   2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1

1018  82 votes 2nwl4 9cqmd 6hnoc 8ckkm 5bukg 8hsn6 2dqw9 2bmon alina celpa
1018  3.2 mean  3.0   3.2   3.2   3.4   3.4   3.0   3.4   3.7   3.0   3.1


1018-01    (2nwl4 dist, 3.0 mean)
Selected-By: David Sewell <dsew@packrat.aml.arizona.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise, who knows we are, each of us, angles with only
> one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other, please tell,
> how do you envision or future?
>
> After all, we are approaching the end of the millenium faster than
> anyone could imagine, and I don't mean to be fatalist here, I just
> though that, like Nostradamus before you, you could perhaps see in
> our future. The immediate as well as the more distant...so let me
> repeat my query Oh Magnificent One, how do you see our future?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, first of all, I have to disagree with your whole cosmological
} view there, being, as you mentioned, the Oracle. If each of us were
} angles with only one "wing," that would make us straight lines, and
} thoroughly incapable of flight.
}
} As far as the future... well, being omnipotent, I see the future as a
} small, dimpled sphere, much like a large orange, or a small grapefruit.
} However, this is probably of little help to you, being fixed in linear
} time as you are, and having no capacity to view the future directly. It
} seems that even within your own limited scope of time, you are somewhat
} confused. Nostradamus before me, indeed. Where do you think he was
} getting his stuff from, anyway? Freaking tea leaves?
}
} <Sigh>... I suppose like every one else in your timeframe, you are more
} interested in specific "future" events, thinking that this knowledge
} will actually help you in some way. Well, it won't. But here you go:
} have a blast, pretend you have some control over your future. It'll be
} amusing for me to watch.
}
} -- New Year's Eve at the dawn of the year 2000 will be a great
} disappointment. After building it up for months, you will arrive at the
} stroke of midnight drunk and confused, like every year. You may get
} lucky, but she'll be faking it.
}
} -- In 2008, the Internet will be accessible from 78% of homes
} worldwide, causing global intelligence to plummet precipitously. The
} most popular Halloween costume will be the :).
}
} -- By the year 2016, there will be more Starbucks Coffee franchises
} than places of worship in the United States. Hundreds of infants will
} be sacrificed nationwide to Latte, Goddess of Valdez.
}
} -- The members of the Rolling Stones will pass away within weeks of
} each other in the year 2021, except for Keith Richards, who, it will be
} revealed, died in 1987.
}
} -- By the year 2042, life will precisely resemble the world in the
} chilling George Lucas vision of the future, "THX 1138," with one
} difference: everyone will have more hair.
}
} Oh, and buy Lucent Technologies (NASDAQ: LU).
}
} You owe the Oracle the director's cut of "THX 1138" on DVD, and a tall
} decaf skim no-foam mocha.


1018-02    (9cqmd dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: David Sewell <dsew@packrat.aml.arizona.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, you are like the icing on a cake of enormous proportions
> that has with in it an wondrous surprise, a cake covered with
> 7,734 candles and topped w/ a likeness of Mahad Prasad Varma.
>
> What type of yogi did Yogi Bear and Booboo practice?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Bas Ket Fil Ching.
}
} You owe the Oracle a ranger popping out of a cake for Lisa's
} birthday party.


1018-03    (6hnoc dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: David Sewell <dsew@packrat.aml.arizona.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> about the Naked Dancing Llama

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} A coded transmission! Little does the Oracle know, but the
} International Not-Nice People's Antiliberation Army has been using his
} services as an underground mail drop for years! Commisar Claptup must
} be ready for the attack! Now to decode it...
}
} BEHOLD LINDEN. ATTACK MANAGUA.
}
} Aha! The Phillipine regiment is to watch reruns of Barney Miller
} tonight to get the attack plan cleverly hidden in the
} closed-captioning.
}
} BALKAN AGENDA - LUNATIC METHOD
}
} The former Yugoslavia will be the target of the Monster Raving Looney
} division, who will attack with tainted pickles with jockstraps on
} their heads.
}
} BADLAND MANIAC TAKETH LOUNGE
}
} Our North Dakota operative will sieze hostages during the next Tom Jones
} show at the Tropicana.
}
} ITHACA-OAKLAND TANDEM BUNGLE
}
} Damn! The Upstate New York to East Bay Bicycle-Built-For-Two Corps has
} failed!
}
} DAKOTA - LABIAL HANDGUN CEMENT
}
} The Women's Auxillary will sieze the seats of government in the Dakotas
} by smuggling weapons into public buildings by gluing them inside
} their...*blush*
}
} LOCATE NANKING TAMALE BUDDHA
}
} We are to seek out a wise Chinese man who has made a killing selling
} Mexican fast food.
}
} ANABEL - GENIAL MUTANT HADDOCK
}
} We shall win over the age 3-9 demographic with a children's program
} featuring a friendly, walking, talking fish.
}
} BAGHDAD CANNOT TALKIE MANUEL
}
} Hmmm...it seems our Iraqui office has lost contact with our operative
} in Mexico City.
}
} ANNUAL KEDDAH GENITAL COMBAT
}
} Time to rile up the prisoners in the stockade for the Penis Fights!
}
} Hah hah! The time is near! Soon, niceness and adequacy will be
} vanquished everywhere!


1018-04    (8ckkm dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: Mike Nolan <nolan@celery.tssi.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh most atomically awesome Oracle, what is India going to do with
> nuclear weapons?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Make a REALLY hot curry.
}
} You owe the oracle some industrial strength toilet paper


1018-05    (5bukg dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: clemenr@westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Most well-traveled Oracle,
> you are more eternal than Rome,
> you are more peaceful than all of La Paz,
> you are better than that awful tower in Paris,
> you have a bigger clock than the one in London,
> you hang more out than all of the men in Bangkok,
> you have more rasta than a fair in Kingston,
> you have more pickles than New Delhi,
> you have seen a koala and Beirut,
> you can pronounce Tegucigalpa,
> you are the funk-master of Seoul,
> you are a better being than Lima.
>
> Any suggestions for off-the-beaten-path travel
> destinations for this summer?
>
> Thank you.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}         Nice Grovel supplicant! As a matter of fact Lisa and I have
} just been thinking about where to go for our next vacation, but we've
} been pretty much everywhere. Indonesia is always nice: the temples of
} Borabadour, Prambanan, as well as the jungles and animals and the
} diving. Australia is nice too, but then that really is the problem
} isn't it? I mean they are nice, safe, structured holidays which are fit
} for your grandmother's 90 year old nurse. People like us supplicant, we
} need adventure in our lives. We need a vacation that excites the
} senses, but is cost effective and not too time consuming. Well, you've
} come to the right place, do I have the vacation for you!
}
}         I was scanning the net the other day when I ran across a a
} vacation service that would be perfect for you so I've signed you up.
} Here is the brochure:
}
}                                 BORED OF THE HUMDRUM?
}
}                                         TIRED OF THE EVERYDAY?
}
}           ARE YOU LOOKING FOR THE KIND OF LIFE THAT YOU'VE ONLY READ
}           ABOUT?
}
} Exciting locales, beautiful women, danger, romance . . . You've read
} about them; now experience the life of James Bond first hand.
}
} This isn't just another vacation where you arrive at a location and if
} you don't like it then you're stuck there.
}
}                 NO THIS VACATION COMES RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR!!!!!
}
} All of the adventure of a James Bond novel will be yours when two men
} show up at your apartment and try to kill you. Mikael and Costia, who
} were recently made redundant at the KGB, will come and give you a first
} hand experience of a professional cold war killing.
}
}         For ten days and eleven nights they will hunt you like a dog
} just like in the popular James Bond novels.
}
}         Some testimonials from our satisfied clients:
}
} Tony of Pittsburgh . . . They blew a hole in my door with some kind of
} plastic                 explosive and then "softened up the room" as a
} get to know me. They left a nice         fruit basket.
}
} Thomas of New York . . . I spent twenty days in a sewer.
}
} Alan of Syracuse . . . I was lucky that they used a mercury sensor on
} the car bomb. It         left me just enough time to jump for my life,
} but my Reliant K wasn't so lucky.         I still haven't been able to
} get a new car.
}
} Martha of San Francisco (widow of Robert). . . His cell phone just
} exploded.
}
} Bill of Philadelphia . . . They were sitting on my futon petting my
} cats when I came           home from work. They said that they knew
} where my mother lived and that it             would be the end of her
} if I didn't go to work for them. Then they gave me a
} complimentary bottle of champagne.
}
} Robert of Chicago . . . There was a poison mint on my pillow every
} night.
}
}         WE SUPPLY THE DANGER . . . YOU FIND THE CAR, THE GIRLS, THE
} SCENIC VISTAS
}
} All this can be yours for only $15,000 wired to a secure account in the
} Cayman Islands. Check out our group rates and terrorists activities.
}
}                                                 Inquiries Should be
}                                                 posted in the
}                                                 personals of the New
}                                                 York Times under the
}                                                 name Bootsy.
}
} Sounds great doesn't it!!! They'll be by your place any day now so you
} had best get on the waiting list for your Walther PPK.
}
}        I would have loved to have joined you, but Lisa insisted on
} going to the Nude beaches in the South of France again this year. Drop
} me a post card if you live long enough!
}
}                        Glad that I could be of help!


1018-06    (8hsn6 dist, 3.0 mean)
Selected-By: Mike Nolan <nolan@celery.tssi.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle most wise;
>
> How many supplicants does it take to change a lightbulb?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Only one but the next five thousend supplicants will all make in-jokes
} about it.
}
} You owe the oracle a promise that this joke ends here


1018-07    (2dqw9 dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: Dr. Noe <drnoe@primenet.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle Most Wise! I need your help!
>
> I am sitting here in the dark, scared to death.  A hour or so ago I was
> awakened by a noise in the hallway. I got up, an aluminum bat in hand,
> then something flew into my face and I gave it a mighty WHACK! with the
> bat. I turned on the lights. There at my feet laid the body of a most
> beautiful, tiny, winged humanoid creature.  In each hand it clutched a
> small leather bag. One of the bags contains a large number of what
> appear to be the teeth of human children. The other bag is the one that
> scares me though. In it was a coin. I took the coin out. Then I looked
> in the bag, and there was another coin in it! I took that one out,
> checked to see the bag was empty, then dropped it to the floor. It
> clanged. It had another coin in it! It can not be emptied!!
>
> Something is not right. I do not want the accursed coins. I sense that
> keeping the coins or the bags is Not A Good Idea... and there's still
> the matter of this dead, this dead -thing- in the hallway.
>
> Oracle, help me! What should I do?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} As is often the case in these situations, you have no choice now but to
} accept the curse that you have brought upon yourself by your brash
} actions. You see, you've killed the Couch Fairy and now someone has to
} take her place; that someone being you.
}
} The Couch Fairy flies around the digging the coins out from under
} people's sofa cushions which she keeps in her bottomless coin bag and
} placing teeth under their refrigerator.  Her ancestry is rather cloudy,
} it being generally assumed that she is one of the Toll House Elves who
} inhaled a little too much BHT from her cousin's Ernie's cookie factory
} one day and got this bug in her head about spare change. Nobody's quite
} sure about the tooth angle, but it should be obvious where she gets
} 'em.  (My personal opinion is that the Tooth Fairy needed something to
} do with all those teeth and took advantage of an opportunity.)
}
} She's closely related to the Toll House Toll Booth Fairy who collects
} all the change from the little baskets on toll roads and leaves those
} brownish black spots on your driveway.
}
} Your metamorphosis will begin in a few more hours and may take several
} days. You'll first start digging through your pockets and looking in
} the bottom of the washing machine, then probably checking the floor of
} your car.  Try to stay away from pay phones and snack machines in
} public locations until the change has finished or you might be in for
} some embarrassment. Once you start pulling the cushions of your sofa
} off and digging through the weird hairy gunk underneath for dimes and
} quarters, you will know it will be complete.
}
} You owe the Oracle a visit from Sandy Claws to come clean the litter
} box and the Ether Bunny because he can't sleep tonight.


1018-08    (2bmon dist, 3.7 mean)
Selected-By: "Carole S. Fungaroli" <fungaroc@gusun.georgetown.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Version: 3.12
> GM/CS d-(+) s-:- a- C++ UBS>++ P+(--) L E--- W++ N++ o+ K w--- !O M+
> !V PS++ PE- Y+ PGP t+ 5 X R(+++) !tv b+++ DI++ D G e++++ h r-- z?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}       Geek code is old hat. Here's a code for supplicants. . .
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}                        Supplicant Code version .01
}      -----------------------------------------------------------------
}
}   g: groveling
}
}         g++     My grovels are original and relate to the question
}                 in a witty manner.
}         g+      I take classic grovels from The Bible or Literature
}               and adapt them to my needs.
}         g       I use "Oracle Most Wise;"
}         g-      I use "dear oracle"
}         g--     My grovels are long winded and pointless.
}         g---    Typos make my grovels indecipherable.
}         g----   I steal grovels from askmes
}
}         g?      What's a grovel?
}         !g      No groveling for me.
}         -g+     I say thank you, but don't grovel.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   Q: Questions
}
}         Q+++    My questions are open ended, yet funny in and of
}                 themselves, answers are rarely as funny as my
}               questions.
}         Q++     My questions are witty and tickle the intellect.
}         Q+      My questions are about UNIX or classic Lit.
}         Q       I ask questions about my own life problems.
}         Q-      I ask questions I know the answers to already.
}         Q--     I send in Steve Wright jokes as questions.
}         Q---    I send the Oracle hate mail.
}         Q----   I ask variations of the w..dch..k question.
}
}         !Q      I send in odd statements, I don't like questions.
}         Q?      I ask about Oracle software.
}         Q*      I send in long lists of questions.
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   F: Formatting skills
}
}         F+++    I use impeccable grammar and spelling and understand
}               all USENET rules, written and unwritten. I know
}               when to use a space and when to use a tab.
}         F++     I often proofread my work before sending it.
}         F+      I use spell check.
}         F       I can understand what I meant to say.
}         F-      You can almost always tell what language I am using.
}         F--     I have no clue as to when to use the ENTER key,
}               nor have I ever heard of a spell check.
}         F---    I use MIME
}
}         !F      I use free-form arty typing methods.
}         F?      Format? Doesn't everyone use WORD?
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   og: og Stance
}
}         og++++  Og cracks me up! I send questions from Og.
}         og+++   I find Og amusing. I send in questions about Og.
}         og++    I see the usefulness of Og as another foil.
}         og+     Og can make me smile.
}         og      I have read of Og in a digest.
}         og-     I do not care for Og.
}         og--    I find Og boring.
}         og---   I skip over questions or digests that mention Og.
}         og----  I will flame you if you mention Og.
}
}         !og     I have never heard of Og.
}         og?     Who is Og?
}          OG     I am Og.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   Z: Zotting
}
}       Number of times you have been zotted.
}
}         Z+++    600 and up
}         Z++     500-599
}         Z+      400-499
}         Z       300-399
}         Z-      200-299
}         Z--     100-199
}         Z---    90 and under
}         Z?      Zot?
}         !Z      Never been zotted.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   rh: rhodness
}
}        rh---    I don't read rhod.
}        rh--     I once read rhod.
}        rh-      I rarely read rhod.
}        rh       I read some of rhod, but the endless cascades and
}                 whining are too boring to keep up with.
}        rh+      I think rhod is neato.
}        rh++     I think cascades are a form of art.
}        rh+++    If my lame .sig is isn't in it, it ain't a cascade yet.
}
}        !rh      rhod may have been funny once, but I doubt it.
}        rh?      rhod?
}        rh*      I can never keep track of what froup I'm in anyway.
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   eq: general etiquette
}
}       eq+++    I send in questions daily and skip answering questions
}              if I have nothing funny to say.
}       eq++     I answer questions if I understand them completely.
}       eq+      I try to answer questions well.
}       eq       I respect the person asking the question.
}       eq-      I answer no matter what, length is very important, as
}              is mentioning Lisa and Zadoc and Bill Gates constantly.
}       eq--     Hey, one line answers are the funniest ones! I always
}              laugh as I type them!
}       eq---    I drain queues for sport.
}
}       !eq      F**K Y*U! I thinking trolling or typing one word over
}              and again and again is funny.
}       eq?      Whatdaya mean there's a human reading on the other end?
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
}   D: Digested
}
}         Number of times you have been Digested.
}
}         D+++    4 or more
}         D++     3
}         D+      2
}         D       1
}         D-      0
}         D--     I had one removed, once it was found out I stole
}               copy-written material to use as my own.
}
}         D?      Digest?
}         !D      Got nasty note from Priest saying I would never
}               ever be digested.
}         D*      Got in a Best of!!!
}
}      _________________________________________________________________
}
} You owe the Oracle a time delayed code capsule.


1018-09    (alina dist, 3.0 mean)
Selected-By: Mark Lawrence <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Is this the lost and found desk? I seem to have misplaced my
> purpose and goals, and while looking for them I stumbled across
> these wild ideals that, quite frankly, -are not mine-.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}         IO "Bite me !
}
}         Oh wait ... sorry that's the response to complaints.
}
}         You've lost your ambition and acquired someone else's ideals.
} Right, Lost and Found. Standard procedure is to check the log of turned
} in objects <opening shoe box beneath desk we see: 1) a left vulcan ear
} 2) a very dirty fuzzy bunny slipper 3) a prostetic leg. OK, I don't see
} any purpose and goals. Actually, it would be highly unusual to get any
} purpose and goals in here anyway. That isn't to say that people don't
} lose things like that in the Oracular Hall, it's just that the people
} who enter the Hall usually don't have any purpose or goals to begin
} with. They're usually wandering aimlessly through cyberspace looking
} for a good time and trying to forget the lives that they've left
} behind. It's far more likely that your purpose and goals were stolen by
} someone else. Didn't the State Department warn you about entering the
} Oracular Hall with any intellectual property what so ever?
}
}         OK, can you identify the purpose and the goals that you lost?"
}
}         S  "Yes, I wanted to find a girl, marry, settle down into a
} nice desk job, have a couple of kids, that sort of thing."
}
}         IO "Boy, you're lucky that you're still alive. I've seen people
} killed here for working the graveyard shift at Dennys and learning all
} the chords to Stairway to Heaven. The priests are really pathetic
} desperate people. Well, all I can do is file a Missing Life Report, but
} don't get your hopes up. It's highly likely that by now your goals have
} been taken to a chop shop, broken into their constituent pieces and
} sold on the Oracular black market.  What about the found ideals? What
} do they look like?"
}
}         S  "The Ideals consist of beliefs in the kindness of the human
} soul, honesty, truth, beauty and love. They were covered with dust,
} behind a desk, inside a heating grate, next to a right vulcan ear, in
} the offices of the Oracular lawyers, Dewey, Cheatam, and Howe."
}
}         IO  "Yes, many people lose their ideals after meeting the
} Oracular lawyers, that's why we hired them. Are you sure that these
} ideals are not yours? Sometimes it is difficult to recognize one's own
} ideals after having lost them."
}
}         S  "No, I'm sure that they are not mine. I was raised in the
} suburbs. I never had any ideals."
}
}         IO "OK. Well, it's highly probable that whoever lost their
} ideals will be coming back to the Oracular Hall, but I don't know if
} they would want them back.  Perhaps, you would like to keep them?"
}
}         S  "No, thank you. I don't think that I would know what to do
} with ideals. My purposes and goals have placed me on a path of
} backstabbing and double dealing that if I showed any ideals now would
} lead to terrible reprisals. I don't know what to do."
}
}         IO "Yes, that happens when you don't have any purpose or goals.
} I've seen this before. People who were once productive members of
} society come to my desk without any ambition and no scruples going in
} circles with no direction. Fill out this form; you start Thursday."
}
}         S  "Start what on Thursday?"
}
}         IO "Your new job as Oracular priest. This is how I recruited
} all of my priests, Welcome to the team."


1018-10    (celpa dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: Mark Lawrence <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Fantastically spiffy, zesty, charming and heroic Oracle of the
> Internet... May your praises resound through the vast packet-switched
> wide-area-network which spans the globe!
> May your likeness be carved in excruciating detail in large marble
> slabs and placed in monuments worldwide for all to see and bask in the
> warming glow of your infinite glory!
> May the wind be calmed and the mountains bow down in respect to your
> power of limitless vision!
> May the world be a shelter of peace and happiness under the guidance of
> your mighty hand, unless, of course, you prefer mayham and chaos in
> which case may mass rioting and catastrophies errupt in your name!
>
> I, your most sickly and worthless supplicant, and a co-worker of mine,
> who is also not fit to smell your toe-jam, have but a single burning
> question..
>
> Why is it, oh Large One, that, in the parking-lot of our worksite,
> there do sit two solitary park-benches, both facing a GARBAGE CAN?
>
> Oh mighty destroyer of woodchucks and zotter of the feable, please
> grace us with the wisdom of your perceptive sight!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Good grovel! Ooh, I enjoyed that one.................
} I REALLY enjoyed that one, ooh, yeah...............so much, in fact,
} that I think I'll actually give you a straight answer for once, instead
} of dodging the question by taking one single word of it out of context
} and basing an extended weak pun on the deliberate misinterpretation
} of ambiguous semantics with - in the words of the BBC voiceover man
} before EVERY SINGLE new sitcom - "hilarious consequences". Or
} simply taking the **** out of the style in which your question was
} asked,
} imitating your flow, lexicon, and sentence construction in an
} infuriating
} or just downright turgid torrent of tedious parody. Or falling back on
} the
} good old stand-bys which suffice when I just really can't be arsed to
} think up something witty, such as ZOT and w**d***cks.
} Yes, I think you've impressed me so much with that excellent grovel,
} supplicant, that I really will actually treat you to a slice of my
} infinite
} intellect, my wondrous wisdom, my omniscient Oracular wit, without
} even buggering off on holiday and getting Zadoc, Og or Kendai to
} answer the question instead while me and Lisa sup sumptous heady
} exotic liquers under a sun-washed fountain on far-away shores in the
} Zeta Reticuli system, getting the galaxy's ONLY non-carcinogenic tan,
} and thoroughly disproving Shakespeare's assertion about alcohol (you
} know, the one about "taking away the performance" ? Will, m'boy, you
} obviously never had a Reticulan Red-Face Wrangle-Raising Root Beer!)
} leaving you to fume at your monitor when a smug sarcastic semi-literate
} sneer is the response to your heartfelt plea for help.
} Yes, just this once, I really WILL answer your question, supplicant,
} without
} even ranting on for pages about inconsequential irrelevancies in the
} vain
} hope that by the time you get to the bottom, you'll have completely and
} utterly forgotten about your question and...oh bugger, I've run out of
} spa....


© Copyright 1989-2017 The Internet OracleTM a Kinzler.com offering Contact oracle-web@internetoracle.org