} Supplecant, you have it all wrong...the tobacco-mosaic virus is just
} what it's name suggests. It's not a computer virus, but rather a
} virus developed by anti-smokers who are going to unleash it on tobacco
} crops everywhere at exactly 12:01 am on June 17, 1998. The virus
} was developed, as I said by anti-smokers, most of whom are really
} big into the world-wide web and surfing it, however these are all
} cast-outs from the crew that originally developed the Mosaic browser.
} So, they decided that instead of it killing the tobacco, the virus
} would change the tobacco. No longer will smokers be addicted to
} nicatene...now they will be addicted to the Mosaic browser.
} They will have to browse the web with it at least once a day at first.
} Their symptoms will get progressively worse as time goes on. Soon,
} they will be browsing 6 times a day...then 12 times a day, then it's
} a full days obsession! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! People everywhere will be
} hooked on surfing the web. Oh yeah, you know I am going to start
} getting more supplecants soon, oh yes, I will....
} Once the addiction sets in, they will no long enjoy smoking (that's
} the other part of the addiction, by the way). The Tobacco-Mosaic
} Virus will destroy all other addictions in the person, making it so
} that they will never want to get away from the computer. Already,
} Microsoft CEO has said this of the Virus: "It's a good idea...I just
} wish I had thought of it before all of this came about with Windows
} 98 and my MSN project. But, they didn't trademark the virus, so I
} might be releasing Cocaine-Windows pills sometime in the near future".
} President Clinton remarked, "Wow, I might be able to get people to
} stop worrying about my affairs..." and would say nothing further.
} You owe the Oracle a pound of prevention ... or just a ton of cure...