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Internet Oracularities #1047

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Internet Oracularities #1047    (86 votes, 3.1 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Thu, 3 Sep 1998 00:10:31 -0500 (EST)

To find out all about the Internet Oracle, including how to participate,
send mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help" in the subject
line.

Let us know what you like!  Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very poor") to 5 ("very good") with the
volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to this
message).  For example:
   1047
   2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1

1047  86 votes jota4 2hFj7 5aJj7 anwg5 4cAr7 8jhhp 3eqte 6fuob 8fgql 9mFb3
1047  3.1 mean  2.5   3.1   3.2   2.8   3.2   3.4   3.4   3.2   3.4   2.7


1047-01    (jota4 dist, 2.5 mean)
Selected-By: surfbaud@waverider.co.uk (Dave Hemming)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> What does it mean to be incarnated and/or a priest? I need to decrease
> the number of ? in my geekcode and I need assistance.
>
> Thank you, thank you.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Oh Puling Supplicant, to answer your trifling question I have summoned
} the Wise and Pious Nadeem.  Nadeem is a priest of long standing, having
} once served in Zadoc's role before I graciously allowed him to retire
} to latrine duty where he reports to be "outstandingly rhapsodic."
}
} First, please, to place hands on ground.  Then to place forehead
} between hands.  Is important, please, to not bend knees, but to keep
} soles of feet flat upon ground.
}
} Next to recite Magna Carta from memory.  Backwards.  In Sumerian
} vulgar.  Score to be based on volume and quality of glottal stops.
}
} Last to take long slivers of wood, please to be soaked in pitch.
} Slivers to insert in web of skin between forefinger and thumb.
} Please to ignite slivers at opposite ends.  Then to wave hands in
} circular pattern singing all songs from "Paint Your Wagon."
}
} Please to thank Supplicant for question.  Is not answer, is merely
} beginning.
}
} Please to owe Oracle larnyx of Clint Eastwood, so that worthy may
} never again attempt to sing songs from "Paint Your Wagon."


1047-02    (2hFj7 dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most wise,
> tell me whether F. will cheat on me!

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I'm afraid he already has, you've got to keep a better eye on those
} Russian chess players. Look...
}
} YOU     F.
} ---------------
} e4      c5
} Nf3     d6
} d4      cxd4
} Nxd4    Nf6
} Nc3     g6
} f3      Bg7
} Be3     O-O
} Qd2     Nc7  <<<------ See, right there! THE BLOODY CHEATER!
} Bc4     a6
} Nxc6?   bxc6
} O-O     Nd7
} f4      Nb6
}
} I recommend you stick it to him with the ol' swap a bishop for the
} queen under your sleeve, he won't notice.
}
} You owe the Oracle a few more pawns.


1047-03    (5aJj7 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: Darkmage <DAVIS@wehi.edu.au>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Totally Huge Oracle, you are immense without being fat, something my
> own mother-in-law could never hope to contemplate.  I am not only tiny
> but tinny, with a voice that makes Mickey Mouse sound like Ian Wallace.
> (You remember him, of course, the bass baritone for whom Michael
> Flanders and Donald Swann wrote the Hippopotamus Song, also known as
> "Mud, Glorius Mud".)  You are indeed fortunate not to hear me sing,
> even in the shower.
>
> What I need to ask you has nothing to do with music, or even with my
> singing.  Instead, it's about everyone's worry, MONEY.  I find that
> once again I am short of cash, and need to stoop to doing work or
> whatever, maybe something legal this time.
>
> I've seen a lot of ads spamming my e-mail, asking me to sign up with
> them to make a gazillion bucks.  I bet they want me to invest in a
> gullibium mine or something.  But they can't ALL be frauds, can they?
> Is there one of them that you recommend I use to alleviate my poverty
> (rather than augment it)?  What should I do to increase my meagre
> wealth?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Yes, dear.  All those magicians, at least ONE of them must be doing
} real magic.
}
} Anyway, let's scope out your inbox and see what we can find here.
}
} > MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!!
}
} Rule #1: Any subject with more than one exclamation point needs to take
} a Valium
}
} > TOTALLY LEGAL WAY TO GET RICH
}
} Rule #2: If legality is on their minds, it's probably not.
}
} > 10 Million Internet Addresses for just $10
}
} Rule #3: Apparently, the only way to get rich off the Internet is to
} sell Internet.  Thus, buying is a poor choice.
}
} > Hot Stocks Guaranteed Next AOL
}
} Rule #4: You only make money on a stock if other people are interested.
} If you're not interested in this spam, neither is anybody else.
}
} >YOU CAN EARN 50,000 OR MORE IN THE NEXT 90 DAYS !!
} >
} >You can earn $50,000 or more in next the 90 days sending e-mail, seem
} >impossible?  Read on for details
} >
} > "AS SEEN ON NATIONAL T.V."
}
} Rule #5: Oh, it's on TV. That must make it a good thing.  Like
} Roseanne.
}
} Oh, well.  With a little practice, I'm sure you'll have those burgers
} flipping just right every time.
}
} You owe the Oracle a quarter pounder with extra ketchup.


1047-04    (anwg5 dist, 2.8 mean)
Selected-By: mchevalier@WELLESLEY.EDU

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>       Oh most omnipotent Use^H^H^HInternet Oracle who always
> knows where his towel is, though certainly this lowly supplicant
> would provide one, please enlighten me.
>       I really like this girl, but she has no time for me,
> being entirely devoted to her family, church, job, and pet woodchuck.
> What shall I do?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} [Scene: the Oracle's domain.]
} Hmm. I give a 6 out of 10 for groveling. Good reference, but it
} ends too quickly. Next time, try adding, "but of course my towels
} would be unworthy to mop off moisture from your--but I digress" and
} continue from there.  Anyway, my first plan was to ZOT the girl for
} the woodchuck thing, but I suspect you wouldn't be satisfied with
} that solution. Also I don't want to overuse our cliches; you know we
} don't have any to spare.
} I can hear you snickering. Stop it!!
} Where was I? Ah, yes, the girl you love. You'd be surprised how
} often I get that sort of question. [sits down in front of a notebook
} computer] I swear, this is the seventh one in the last 3 hours.
} I've finally decided to write an automated response generator to
} save myself some time so Lisa and I can--eh, there's another cliche.
} I've got to watch myself.
} [The most omnipotent Use^H^H^H^HInternet Oracle activates the computer.]
} > Please enter question:
} OK. "Girl...no time...devoted...woodchuck...What shall I do?"
} > Processing... Please wait...
} [taps finger]
} > Processing... Please wait...
} [gets out a yo-yo]
} > Processing... Please wait...
} [plays Solitaire (with actual cards); wins before lifting the first
}  card]
} > Processing... Please wait...
} Wait, this is my Win95 computer. [flinches at the realization of another
} cliche's arrival] Hang on. [pushes it away and gets another]
} > Please enter question:
} Grr. "Really like...entirely devoted...family, church, job...What shall
} I do?"
} > Processing... Please wait...
} It better work this time.
} > Process complete. Answer follows:
} Finally!
} > "To your win love, simple take or course and best to never be touching
} > both horizontal."
} ...What the heck was that?! Let me try again.
} > "If you wishing to hold love in your hand, idea is to find and take
} > eleven of thing like her."
} OK, once more.
} > "It is the wise most of moves to be filling your love's computer with
} > lighter fluid."
} [long pause] Well, there you have it. Better get some lighter fluid. I'd
} better go talk to Zadoc about this stupid--aaugh, *another* cliche!
}
} You owe the Oracle (incarnated as Shay_Caron@letterbox.com) any AI
} you've got lying around the house. And when you bring it over, take
} some of our cliches with you when you leave, all right?


1047-05    (4cAr7 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: "Joshua R. Poulson" <jrp@pun.org>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oh Oracle most fiendishly clever and stunningly cunning...
>
> Thanks to my heavy put recommendations on the Rusiian stock market, I
> have been able to greatly expand my army of Sea Monkeys. Once I have
> enough, I plan to conquer the world and finally get a date.
>
> The problem is that the Sea Monkeys are unresponsive to both verbal
> commands and hand signals. I tried to use an ordinary riding crop, but
> I wound up with a wet crop and a lot of dead Sea Monkeys.
>
> So how would You, in your power and wisdom, recommend that I train my
> new evil servants?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Mr. Hussein,
}
} Your e-mail has been intercepted and blocked from being received by the
} Usenet Oracle in accordance with Statute 17 of U.N. Sanction Law
} #77415-A527, subparagraph D.4.4.7. Communication with Western
} omnipotents will only be allowed when the Security Council has deemed
} you have fully cooperated with the actions of U.N. weapons inspectors.
}
} As for the Sea Monkeys in your possession, you should be aware that we
} have launched an inquiry involving all member nations to determine if
} any country has supplied them to you in violation of Statute 25 of U.N.
} Sanction Law #77415-A217, subparagraph X.4.1.2, which, as you know,
} states that no food items will be sold to Iraq. Brine shrimp is clearly
} listed in the "Four Basic Food Groups Iraq Can't Have" chart we
} supplied you.
}
} Please refrain from being naughty in the future. Or do you forget how
} embarrasing it was to have your country get its butt whooped by a bunch
} of sissy-looking, blue-helmeted infantry?
}
} Sincerely,
} James L. "Smokey" Barnum
} U.N. Undersecretary, Internet Surveillance Division


1047-06    (8jhhp dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Gimme an O!            O!
> Gimme an R!            R!
> Gimme an A!            A!
> Gimme an C!            C!
> Gimme an L!            L!
> Gimme an E!            E!
> What's that spell?     ORACLE!
> Who do we love?        ORACLE!
> Master of Wisdom?      ORACLE!
> Bigger than Life?      ORACLE!
> Spelled with 3 vowels? ORACLE!
>
> Oracle, Oracle, he's our man,
> if he can't answer it no one can!
>
> It's The San Francisco Forty-Niners, 34, Oracle Priesthood, 0!
> The Priesthood has the ball at their own 6 yard line.
> It's 3rd and 15, because Zadoc just got caught for a false start.
> The two minute warning has just sounded! The game is almost over!
> And The Internet Oracle throws off his coach's headset and personally
> takes the field!
>
> What happened next?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} [The Oracle gets the team into a huddle. He speaks].
}
} OK, I want you all to remember that Football is a team sport. I want
} every one of you to pass the ball to me. Oh, and we need some
} diversionary measures. (whisper whisper whisper).
}
} [The game, and commentary resumes]
}
} Yes, The Internet Oracle himself has taken the field. He talks to his
} team. Jim, what can we expect from this?
}
} Well Bob, few teams have ever fielded immortal beings. That's bound to
} help him tackle with confidence.
}
} The kick has been taken, wisely at least twenty yards clear of the
} position of The Internet Oracle and OH MY THE INTERNET ORACLE HAS
} INTERCEPTED THE PASS. HE's running. He's running. It's a touchdown, NO!
} The Internet Oracle, despite having cleared all defenders, has run back
} from the line, he appears to be trying to run circles around every
} opposing team member while thumbing his nose at them. This is rather
} bizarre behavior, but it seems to be working.
}
} Bob, The Oracle Priesthood has generally started acting bizarre. I
} mean, even more bizarre than normal. Mark Lawrence is .... I believe
} eating dirt. Is that a spoon?
}
} I believe that's a fork Jim. But look. Kirsten Chevalier and Scott
} Forbes have removed all their clothes and appear to be nude folk
} dancing.
}
} And that's not the half of it, it appears that Ross Clement is
} attempting to teach the referee a Maori war dance.
}
} And the ref. is catching on fast, but look at the group lead by Dave
} Hemming. I believe that they are building a sand castle somewhere
} around the thirty yard line. Isn't that Alyce Wilson digging a moat
} around it, and oh my, Steve Kinzler appears to be trying to fill it by,
} erm, 'making water'. Other priests, including Joshua Poulson are
} joining in and, yes, the moat is definitely filling. Julianna Avedon
} has just lit some fireworks, and LOOK AT THAT! It's like the whole sky
} was full of red and blue stars.
}
} Other priests have joined in on the filing of the moat, this is most
} strange. I don't believe I've ever seen professional football players
} start burrowing before. At least not with ice-cream sticks. The
} opposing team are standing around open mouthed and oh dear, look what's
} just happened to the one standing open mouthed near Otis Viles. I think
} I'm going to throw up.
}
} But, look at The Internet Oracle, he is now running around the field
} on his hands, holding the ball between his feet, but still the opposing
} team are at a loss to tackle him. Jim! The Oracle is heading for the
} goalposts and ....
}
} Yes, THE ORACLE SCORES!!!!! The Oracle hopped 10 yards on his right
} little finger between the posts, and SCORES!!! The crowd goes wild
} including a sizable group of what appear to be Neanderthals in the west
} stand who have started roasting a mammoth above a fire fed by cheap
} plastic chairs. But with only 30 seconds of the game remaining a single
} touchdown, no matter how impressive, will hardly .... wha??????? The
} Oracle Priesthood lead 10,000 to 34. The Internet Oracle has scored
} ..... erm, .... 10,000 points with a single touchdown. Bob, how did he
} manage to do it? I can find nothing in the rulebooks about this.
}
} Jim, I don't know. It's completely beyond my comprehension.
}
} PEEEEEEEP!!!!
}
} Yes, and it's victory to The Oracle Priesthood, with a record score of
} 10,000 to 34, a winning margin of 9,966, beating the previous largest
} winning margin by 9,812 points. This is certainly a day for the record
} books. Tom, are you ready to interview The Internet Oracle?
}
} Thanks Bob. I'm down here on the pitch with The Internet Oracle. Massed
} priests wearing kilts, full face tattoos, nothing at all in some cases,
} space suits, animal skins, and three varieties of vegan yogurt are
} celebrating behind me, but The Internet Oracle remains tacturn. Mr
} Oracle, can you please tell us how you managed to score 10,000 points
} with a single touchdown?
}
} Easy, I am a omnipotent being you know. I can do anything.
}
} Well, if you're an omnipotent being, why did you need your team to
} engage in such a wide variety of diversionary measures?
}
} I didn't. They just needed the exercise. And Kirsten's and Mark's
} underwear, well let's just say that it needed a bit of an airing, to
} say the least. And this grass, it's nitrate deficient. The 'moat'
} should brighten it up considerably for the next game if you let it soak
} through.
}
} But, why so bizarre diversions?
}
} You think that was bizarre? You should see what they get up to when
} they think I'm not looking. Like *weird* man.
}
} And there you have it. Another game won by The Oracle Priesthood in the
} dying minutes of the game. We now return you to motor racing where The
} Internet Oracle has just won at Road Atlanta, oh, and then to track and
} field events where The Internet Oracle has won the 100, 200, 400, 800,
} 1600, 5000, 10,000 metre and marathon events held simultaneously and
} ????????
}
} [The announcer falls down in a faint].
}
} .... You owe The Oracle a pogo stick and some money for a little wager
} I'm going to make with NASA.


1047-07    (3eqte dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: Dr. Noe <drnoe@primenet.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> i need to some essential information,max:20 lines

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} OK, 20 lines of essential information. [claps hands together] Here we
} go.
}
} Whenyou'refirstborn,startcryingorthedoctorwillslapyou.Breathingisagoodth
} ing.Whenpurchasingfootwear,besuretogetarightoneandaleftone.Youmaywanttoo
} ccasionallygetoffofthecomputerandtaketimetoeat.Ifyoustarttobleedandyoura
} rmisnolongerattachedtotherestofyourbody,seekmedicalattentionimmediately.
} Waterisgoodtodrink;saltwaterisnotgoodtodrink.Plungingsharpobjectsintoyou
} rchestisnotwise.Theoldmedicalvaluesof"bleed'em,puke'em,andpurge'em"areno
} longerbelieved;ifanyonetriestotellyouotherwise,runaway.Thatbeatingthingi
} nyourchestiscalleda"heart";it'sessentialforsurvival.Ifyoucanreadthis,you
} 'retooclose.Theeyeballisaverysensitiveorganwhichdoesnottakewelltoimmersi
} oninacid.Quitbeatingyourheadonthewalloverandoveragain;you'reannoyingthen
} eighbors.Undernocircumstancesshouldyoutalkbacktoagangmember.Tenlinessofa
} r.Let'scontinue.Ifyouareswimmingintheoceanandyouseeashark,youmightwantto
} turnaround.Becarefultoavoidreadingsubliminalmessages.Givemeallyourmoney.
} Neverpetaflamingdog.Skipoverin-jokeswhenreadingOracleanswers.Putsomespac
} esintothisoryou'llstrainyoureyes.Headachesusuallyindicateaproblem.Cleanu
} pafteryourselfafterleavingalongtrailofbloodbehindyourself.Helpmeouthere!
} I'mrunningoutofbreath!Don'tstickyourtongueintoanactivatedelectricsocketo
} ronacoldfrozenflagpole.Onlyfourmorelinestogo.Don'tswearatapoliceofficer,
} ajudgeandjury,orsomeonecarryingalargeaxe.I'mrunningoutofideas.Don'tbuyan
} ybridgesortheEiffelTowerfromsomeguywearingatrenchcoat.Trustnoone.Keepyou
} rhandsandlongclothingoutofheavymachinery.Don'tdrinkshampooorconditioner.
} Don'tstickacanofdeodorantinahugebrushfire.Done!!
}
} [Editor's note: Well, it was exactly 20 lines before reformatting for
}  Oracularities line-length constraints.]
}
} Phew! [pant, pant] Oh boy. I think I strained my throat or something.
}
} You owe the Oracle an inhaler.


1047-08    (6fuob dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: "Forbes, Michael Scott (Scott)" <trans@lucent.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Orrie, baby, you really set my sticky bit.  I want you to strip
> me, mount me, oh yes!  But I just heard a rumor that you're one of
> those unix.  Is it true?  Can it never be?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I get back from my vacation(1), unpack(1) and what(1) do I find(1)
} in my mail(1)?  A new batch(1) of questions, my calendar(1) filled,
} and some not so nice(1) bs(1) about the unkindest cut(1) of all.
} Well, I have news(1) for you supplicant, that I'm more(1) of a man(1)
} that you could ever handle.  File(1) this away for future reference:
} At(1) this point in my life, my uptime(1) is having a banner(1) year.
} From(1) now on(1) you better adjust(1) your schedule, and cancel(1)
} any other appointments, because it's clear(1) to me that unless
} you're all talk(1), we have a compact(1) to expand(1) our time(1)
} together.  You pick which(1) locale(1), and I'll help(1) pack(1).
}
} There was going to be an X(1)-rated version of this answer using:
} split(1)
} finger(1)
} merge(1)
} top(1)
} join(1)
} awk(1)
} fold(1)
} head(1)
} lock(1)
} yes(1) yes(1) yes(1)
} and
} reset(1)
} but I left it as an exercise for the reader.
}
} (1) No this isn't a footnote marker, it's the section of the
} on-line manual that these commands came from.
}
} You owe the Oracle...no, never mind.  I had enough fun just giving
} the answer.  >;-)


1047-09    (8fgql dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: surfbaud@waverider.co.uk (Dave Hemming)

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, whose every thought is profound
>
> I just got a new computer and set up my e-mail account.
> To my surprise, instead of the usual "you have Mail" prompt
> whenever I get a message, dancing gnomes appear on the screen
> singing the following ditty:
>
> You got e-mail
> Jolly jolly e-mail
> you got e-mail
> A waiting in the queue
>
> You got e-mail from work
> and e-mail berzerk
> And e-mail to spam all over you
> Poor you.
>
> No pictures can you get, sorry
> your cheapo server is read-only
> Just be happy as ET, believe me
> No more are you long-distance phoning home
> Phoning home
>
> Phoning home, Phoning home
> Phoning home (far as Nome)
> By the light of the cathode ray tube tube tube tube
> Happy as the day
> That your phone bill shrunk - Hooray!
> Cause your pals are now e-mailing you at home.
>
> Gee, can't you just feel your brain shrink a few sizes just reading
> that?
>
> Imagine what that's like 47 times a day - I'm going nuts here!  How did
> those little bastards take over my e-mail?  More importantly, how do I
> evict them?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}   You've got mail from a supplicant
}   Hip-hip-hip-hooray
}   You've got mail from a supplicant
}   It'll really make your day
}
} Yes, thank you, guys...
}
}   What do you do if his grovel's feeble
}   What do you do if his grovel's feeble
}   What do you do if his grovel's feeble
}   Earlye in the morning
}
}   Hooray, and ZOT him senseless
}   Hooray, and ZOT him senseless
}   Hooray, and ZOT him senseless
}   Earlye in the morning
}
} SHUT UP!
}
} As I was about to say, it appears you've contracted the dreaded
} Singing Gnome virus. You're not the only one, as you can see.
} There's not a whole lot you can do apart from reformat your hard
} disk and start all over again, but if you're going to be using
} the Net much, chances are you'll just catch them all over again.
} If you take my advice...
}
}   Oh, when the priests turn in for bed
}   Oh, when the priests turn in for bed
}   We'll snuggle up with Kirsten Chevalier
}   When the priests turn in for bed
}
} ...you'll just ignore them. They get bored after a while and...
}
}   How much would that woodchuck in the window
}   How much, oh how much would he chuck
}   How much would that woodchuck in the window
}   We really could not give a...
}
} WATCH IT!
}
}   We're so sorry
}   Oh, so sorry
}   We're so sorry we almost got rude
}   Now old Orrie's
}   Going to be in such a rotten mood
}   (La la la la la, but he always is)
}
} Or then again, perhaps not.
}
} By the way, I probably shouldn't mention this, but the rumor is
} that the Singing Gnomes virus is being spread on the orders of
} Bill Gates, to get back at people for all those cracks about
} Microsoft products over the years. I'm not going to confirm this
} one way or the other, because the rumor goes on to say that people
} who continue to incur the Geek Supreme's wrath get punished with
} a far, far more terrifying visitation. It's called...
}
}   Mine eyes have seen how tacky are the products of Bill Gates
}   He just keeps on making garbage each computer user hates
}   But already he is richer than the whole United States
}   And the dough keeps rolling in
}
}   Glory, glory, MS Office
}   Left my desktop in a right mess
}   Down the toilet goes my business
}   And the dough keeps rolling in
}
} ...Outlook. Don't say I didn't warn ya.
}
}   You owe, you owe
}   You owe the Oracle
}   A virusguard, two pounds of lard
}   You owe, you owe, you owe
}
}   You owe, you owe
}   You owe the Singing Gnomes
}   A date so swell with Tinkerbell
}   Or else we'll give you hell
}
}   You owe, you owe...
}
} Now where did I put my earmuffs?


1047-10    (9mFb3 dist, 2.7 mean)
Selected-By: Mike Nolan <nolan@celery.tssi.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Why do birds fall from the sky,
> Every time you walk by?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} "Just like me... they long to be..."
}
} ...as far away from you as possible!
}
} AN INJUNCTION
}
} Awarded by the Short Circuit Court of Appeals
}
} Oracle N. Carnation vs. Sue P. Li'Kant
}
} The court finds in favor of the party of the first part, Mr. Carnation,
} heretofore referred to as "Plaintiff and declares that the party of the
} second part, Ms. Li'Kant (the "Injunctee") must maintain a distance of
} not less than 2000 feet from the laintiff and is banned from all
} commerce and discourse, including, but not limited to anonymous
} E-mail messages invoking "The Internet Oracle."
}
} The Injunctee is explicitly advised against inflammatory remarks
} such "...Sprinkled moondust in your hair"  and is advised to wear
} sunglasses to cover the "Golden starlight in your eyes of blue."
} In addition, the Injunctee restrained from stalking the Plaintiff and
} from inquiring as to whether "All the girls in town, follow you, all
} around."  Finally, the Injunctee is absolutely forbidden from getting
} "Close to You."
}
} This incarnation has binged and been purged often enough.
} You owe the Oracle digestion.


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