} Well, if you want a look at the kind of crappy answers most questions
} receive, just resubmit your question about 10 times or so. By that
} point you'll see why, like many people, this incarnation would
} not become a priest even if offered a bribe large enough to impress
} most congressional Republicans. But I'll save you the bother, and
} just power up the time machine and show you all the responses you will
} receive, er, I mean would have received, er, woulden-haved mayen
} receiven-withedly...oh screw it, you can figure out the time-travel
} grammar yourself.
} In any case, here are the answers...
} <<!!TOZ>> }
} .TOZ ehT .01# rewsnA
} Oops, I set the time-directional control wrong. Let me try again....
} Answer #1. Juno madness.
} } ive already seen this one
} } _____________________________________________________________________
} } You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.
} } Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com
} } Or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]
} Answer #2. Good, Juno went away, but now we have someone who didn't
} read the help file.
} } On Sun, 15 Nov 1998, The Internet Oracle wrote:
} } > !!! The Oracle's question queue is getting rather full. Help speed
} } > !!! things up for everyone and do askme's instead of tellme's.
} } >
} } > The Internet Oracle requires an answer to this question!
} } >
} } > > Oh wise Oracle, You who have never been a newbie.
} } > >
} } > > It's my first tellme. You're probably lifting your <ZOT> right
} } > now, but
} } > > wait a sec. I'm not going to ask the W question. I even
} } > > remembered
} } > to
} } > > grovel. I've lurked for a while and read a number that Og might
} } > have called
} } > > "Many Many" digests. I've seen what good questions look like and
} } > what good
} } > > answers look like. The thing is, as much as I enjoy reading the
} } > digests,
} } > > I'll never see the questions and answers that don't make it to
} } > > the
} } > digest.
} } > > I've seen supplicants and incarnations mock them humouristically,
} } > I've seen
} } > > bad questions that got hilarious answers, but I feel I'm missing
} } > > a
} } > world of
} } > > undigested Oracularities.
} } > >
} } > > So, what do undigested Oracularities really look like?
} } > >
} } >
} } The digests have people who spell "humoursly" right in them. Never
} } bother The Oracle agian!
} Answer #3. This one didn't read the help file, either.
} } I dont know.
} } --
} } Anne Thrax
} } firstname.lastname@example.org
} } http://users.aol.com/anne4325/
} Answer #4. This one may have read it, but doesn't have the faintest
} idea what the word "obscure" means.
} } You need to ask the blue duck from level 12, he can tell you if you
} } wave the flag at the man
} Answer #5. This incarnation has a poor understanding of the English
} language, but thinks everyone can understand them perfectly.
} This very well may be a funny response, if only you can
} figure out what the hell it means...
} } Perhaps Undigestated Ocularities look, the backdrive for posts in
} } Summer. they have the good Image and, as Want no humorly!
} Answer #6. This one has read the digests, and thinks they have to work
} *every* damn in-joke into their response.
} } HOI, ZADOC!
} } ZADOC: Og, can you help me?
} } Og: Og here. Og ask for Bill Gates.
} } Bill Gates: You will be assimilated. Lisa, can you help?
} } ...
} Answer #7. This incarnation goes into a long, drawn-out, boring list
} of bad ways to answer.
} } Well, if you want a look at the kind of crappy answers most questions
} } receive, just resubmit your question about 10 times or so. By that
} } point you'll see why, like many people, this incarnation would
} /bin/universe received signal 42 (paradox fault), aborting connection.
} paradox fault (core dumped)
} NO CARRIER