} There are no strict protocols for addressing the Oracle. The
} main consideration is that the address be respectful and/or
} complimentary, evidencing humility and awe. Originality will often
} bring you well into the Oracle's special favor, and may even get you a
} date with Lisa. Some examples od appropriate Oracular address:
} Oracle, without whom I am lost:
} O Great One:
} Oracle, who is so big, we're really impressed down here...
} O Oracle, who screams like a gypsy when aroused!
} My noble Lady, to whom I come on bended keyboard
} Child of the Sun, may I be the neXt to receive a Sparc of your wisdom
} Beautiful and Bright Oracle, Lady of the Night
} Hail Oracle, full of grace
} My Lord and Master the Oracle:
} O Oracle, child of Delphi, who remembers when Life was Good!
} O awe-inspiring one!
} I come to You in great humility, for although I am not worthy to suck
} your Oracular toes, I come to seek your Wisdom.
} The Oracle loves capital letters, but only at the beginnings of Words.
} ORACLE just looks like you are yelling.
} Innappropriate forms of address to the Oracle are as follows:
} O Oracle Most Vice
} Pigface, Squidfingers, Lemur-tush, or any other combination of
} animal + body part
} Hey Ugly!
} Dear Oracle (even though I know you're really a computer geek, just
} like me! :-) )
} Jim Bakker!
} O One-Balled Wonder!
} If you keep to these guidelines, your answers should be given in a
} timely and pleasant fashion.
} You owe the Oracle a short devotional prayer tonight at midnight.