} Awww... you know, the kind words in your question moved me very, very
} deeply -- until I remembered just HOW MANY people you are in love with.
} You know, you really ought to cut down. Irregardless, the Oracle has a
} great fondness for humans who ask it interesting questions, so: I love
} you too, [user]!
} It is touching that you would be greatly moved by the sight of seeing
} your two beautiful friends engaged in an act of pleasure. Certainly, I
} would be more than happy to write a letter to forward to them,
} convincing them that they should fornicate in front of you. Now then:
} you did say that they consider me an authority, right?
} -> Dear friend of [user]:
} -> Typically, the Usenet Oracle only writes to those who send it
} -> questions. However, due to the special nature of a certain
} -> recent request, it has become necessary to address you through
} -> these atypical means.
} -> Recently, it has come to my attention that [user] is a most caring
} -> and sensitive individual -- and as such, did not want to offend
} -> you by suggesting that you should copulate with [other friend of
} -> user]. [user] has indicated that the experience should be quite
} -> a pleasure for all involved.
} -> Now, this idea was not mine. However, the Oracle cannot fail when
} -> pressed with such a challenge. [user]'s request was that I convince
} -> you to engage in this act. Therefore, I have made special
} -> arrangements with universal powers. If you DO decide to accept the
} -> suggested boink, you will be rewarded with the most fulfilling
} -> climax any human has ever experienced. However, if you turn down
} -> the offer, your genitalia will be numbed for the remainder of your
} -> life.
} -> Remember, you have free will, and the choice is up to you. Should
} -> you decide to accept the offer, please contact the following for
} -> assistance, and ask for special offer #Qa09152.
} -> Oracular Sexual Aids, Inc.
} -> San Francisco, CA
} -> All the best,
} -> The Usenet Oracle
} That should do it. By the way, how do you know how a gypsy screams?
} You owe the Oracle the oragasmic fluids resulting from this arrangement.