} Quite a lot really. They obtained personal information, including
} hobbies, religion, special diets, age, waistline, and underwear
} changing policies for every single man in America. As we speak the
} Russian Mail-Order Bride industry is tooling up for the largest
} direct mailing promotion in the history of the world. Yes, Russian
} computers are currently matching all single women in Russia to find
} their perfect love match, and will be mailing an introductory letter
} and photograph from a compatible young woman to the US within the week.
} Let's have a look at some of the letters due to be sent.
} > Mr B. Clinton,
} > The White House,
} > Washington,
} > Dear Bill,
} > I am Irini Gaganeva from Vlodistock, Russia. I hear you soon become
} > single and think you not want become lonely. Since I was in school I
} > have practice trumpet, and now am champion player in my city. I have
} > lips so strong I remove wheel nut from tractor using only lip. I hope
} > you want write to me.
} Not a bad try if I say so myself. Let's see another.
} > Mr J. Springer
} > CRAP-TV Networks
} > Hollywood
} > California
} > Dear Jerry,
} > I am Natalya Muchatrobuleova from Moscow, Russia. I have much hard
} > life want to find nice man live nice life. When I born my mother make
} > new relationship wolf. Then I find man, find he only like tree, not
} > girl. Then my sister decide, not wear underwear under, wear on top.
} > Now my brother live with man on Monday-Friday, live with woman
} > Saturday Sunday. I much confuse. Now when I sneeze, feel much urge
} > take all clothe off in public place.
} > I hope you not put off, would like write to me.
} I dunno about you, but I'm investing my money in Trans-Ural Airways.
} This looks like a hit.
} You owe The Oracle five yards of rubber tubing, a roll of black
} leather rope, three face masks, twelve gallons of whipped cream and
} strawberries, and some whips and chains. You should see the letter
} that I just received.