} Many things can be said of Rudolph the Red, Terror of the North Sea.
} Rudolph the Red knew pillaging, raping, and burning. Rudolph the
} Red knew to pillage and rape BEFORE he burned. Rudolph the Red
} knew crushing his enemies, driving them before him, and hearing
} the lamentations of their women. Rudolph the Red knew long boats.
} Rudolph the Red knew the tactics to use against a Roman legion,
} and the tactics to use against a large number of armed, confused,
} and poorly organized villagers.
} Rudolph the Red knew heavy fighting. Rudolph the Red knew the
} long-sword, the battle-axe, the spear, and even the large rock.
} Rudolph the Red did *not* know the bow and arrow, which led to that
} unfortunate incident with the Franks. Afterwards, Rudolph the Red
} knew how to compensate in battle for a lack of depth perception.
} Rudolph the Red knew chest wounds, head wounds, leg wounds, shoulder
} wounds, concussions, groin injuries, third degree burns, gangrene,
} pneumonia, head aches, back aches, pulled tendons, detached ligaments,
} broken ribs, dislocated shoulders, broken noses and blood. Boy, was
} he familiar with blood. You do know he was blond, right? Rudolph the
} Red did not know anesthetics.
} Rudolph the Red did *not* know personal hygiene.
} Rudolph the Red knew women. Rudolph the Red knew girls. Rudolph the
} Red knew boys. Rudolph the Red knew ale. And on one occaision, after
} a great deal of ale and on a particularly cold night, Rudolph the
} Red knew a goat.
} But Rudolph the Red did *not* know reindeer. They could smell him
} You owe the Oracle a flagon of ale, a flank of burnt pig, and some
} industrial strength "Right Guard".