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} Oracle: What's next on the docket?
}
} Clerk: Question number Qdqd12_, one count of child abuse, 12 counts
} of illegal gambling, and one count of public flatulance.
}
} Oracle: Ahem. . .
}
} Clerk: Oh, and one count of wasting the Oracle's time.
}
} Oracle: Good. How does the defendant plead?
}
} Qdqd12_: I plead answerable, your Honour.
}
} Oracle: None of that British crap in my court!
}
} Qdqd12_: Sorry, your Honor.
}
} Oracle: Bail recommendation?
}
} Sam Waterston: Request that question be held without bail, on flight
} risk.
}
} Andy Griffith: Your honor, my client has close ties with the
} community. . .
}
} SW: Your Honor, questions of this type have been known to be out of
} jurisdiction within 24 hours if not attended to.
}
} Oracle: Point taken. Defendant is remanded pending trial.
}
} <Time Passes. . . >
}
} SW: Now, Mr. Incarnation, when you read the question, what was your
} immediate reaction?
}
} Incarnation: I was a bit put off. It wasn't that good as answer
} fodder. I mean the question fished for an answer, namely that the
} uncle rigged boxing matches. Admittedly, the character of the uncle
} as a semi-hick comes through rather well, but it's rather depressing.
}
} SW: What did you do?
}
} Inc: Well, I thought I might have the Oracle ZOT the guy, as the grovel
} wasn't up to par. But I try not to do that; I know a ZOT ruins my day.
}
} SW: So what did you end up doing?
}
} Inc: I was inspired to write a trial scene where the answerability
} of the question was at issue.
}
} AG: Objection! The witness is meta-questioning!
}
} Oracle: Sustained. The witness will refrain from making things any
} more confused.
}
} SW: No more questions at this time.
}
} AG: So, you were able to come up with a satisfactory reply?
}
} Inc: Well, not one with immediate relevance to the question. Not one
} that I could bash out as if from the head of Zeus.
}
} AG: But a funny one?
}
} Inc: If I didn't think it was, I wouldn't have sent it.
}
} AG: One that might even make the Digests?
}
} SW: Objection! Witness is not a priest and has no idea how to make
} it into the Digests!
}
} Oracle: Sustained.
}
} AG: Did writing this answer inconvenience you in any way?
}
} Inc: Well, not so much. I really wasn't that busy, but, but, but
} that question left no room for creativity! It's not even something
} anyone could want to know! I'd rather have a null question!
}
} Oracle: <Bangs gavel> Order! Order!
}
} <More time passes. . . >
}
} AG: Your honor, I call the defendant to the stand.
}
} <Qdqd12_ moves to the stand in a way that only physically existing
} questions can>
}
} AG: Mr. d12_, what do you do?
}
} Qdqd12_: I'm a question. I basically worry people until someone
} comes along and answers me.
}
} AG: So you have no means of support?
}
} Qdqd12_: That's right. All I have to look forward to is a long time
} in a smelly queue, and then erasure from existence once my minuscule
} purpose has been filled.
}
} AG: And who brought you to this state?
}
} Qdqd12_: It was him!! The Supplicant!
}
} <All stare in horror at the grim figure of the Supplicant, who then
} turns and runs from the room>
}
} AG: <Turns to jury> Ladies and Gentlemen, are you going to let a poor,
} destitute question like this be branded a pariah simply because it
} happens to mention something a little nasty?
}
} <Yet more time passes. . . >
}
} Oracle: Madame foreperson, have you reached a verdict?
}
} Foreperson: We have, your Honor.
}
} Oracle: How do you find?
}
} Foreperson: We find the defendant not guilty of all counts except
} that of wasting the Oracle's time, on which we find the defendant
} guilty by reason of uninterestingness.
}
} Oracle: Thank you. The Question is sentenced to be answered by a
} ridiculous premise.
}
} AG: <to Qdqd12_> Don't worry, we'll appeal to the Priesthood. If they
} Digest you, you can find work as an entertainer. . .
}
} Oracle: The following people owe the following fees:
}
} The Supplicant: Uncle Pootie's winnings.
} The Incarnation: $20,000, to pay as appearance fees to Sam Waterston
} and Andy Griffith.
} The Foreperson: a date.
}
} Court is adjourned.
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