} There's woodchucks, wombats, gerbils, mole-rats, lemurs, llamas,
} cats and dogs,
} And in-jokes like the Staff of Zot and Lisa, Zadoc, Thag and Og,
} And girlfriends, boyfriends, plastic sheep friends, problems of a
} sexual sort,
} And football, soccer, tennis, hockey, and all other kinds of sport,
} And Python quotes and top ten lists and hitch-hikers galactical,
} And pleas for help with get rich quick schemes that are quite
} And people in the news like Clinton, Bush and Blair and Gates and
} And medical advice regarding why your willy is so sore.
} There's parodies of Austen, Conrad, Lovecraft, Joyce and Hemmingway,
} And poems by Poe, and songs by Queen and Don McLean and Doris Day;
} There's Infocom and Doom and Quake and Nethack, MUDs and D&D,
} And AOL and Juno Mail and dear old B1FF and Prodigy.
} There's TV shows like Red Dwarf, Teletubbies, Friends and Blackadder,
} And Star Trek Classic, TNG and DS9 and Voyager,
} And B5 and the X-Files with their plotlines so dramatical,
} And Xena Warrior Princess who has bosoms most pneumatical,
} And Unix, Linux, Mickeysoft, and TLAs like GNU and GUI,
} Zen Buddhism, Catholicism, Darwinism and Feng Shui,
} And mentioning the priests like Davis, Chew and Viles and Avedon,
} And subjects meant to gross me out like squids with herpes and
} so on.
} There's quantum physics, chaos theory, superstrings, black holes
} and quarks,
} And gags ripped off from Stephen Wright and Emo Phillips and Karl Marx,
} And how your flatmate's dirty socks wound up inside your casserole,
} And paradoxes, puns, dramatic irony and 'yperbole.
} These are some of the questions you could send unto the Oracle,
} But twits who send blank emails really are a dreadful bore-icle.