} No, supplicant. It was bound to happen eventually.
} I know that you can get the craving at the damndest of times, and it's
} hard to resist. Especially when you're pressed for time, and your
} cousin Cletus wants delivery on that manure shipment yesterday,
} goddammit, and the wife is nagging at you and the brats are making a
} ruckus in the back seat, and the mortgage on your mobile home is way
} overdue but the lottery ticket you felt so sure about didn't pay off
} this month either, what's wrong with those machines anyway, and why the
} hell won't anybody believe you saw Elvis when clearly he was there,
} goddammit, swear to god and hope to die, and sure you had a few that
} night but Jeb was there as well and can swear to it with a hand on the
} Bible, even though he ain't that smart, what with still being left back
} in 3rd grade at the age of 38 and all, and those weird tics he has
} probably won't go any too well with the jury, didn't believe him last
} time either when you were on trial for poaching, but anyway he was
} right there, he seen it too, and the UFO was right there, goddammit,
} with The King manning that sucker like nobody's business, and why oh
} why oh why didn't Garth Brooks get into the C&M hall of fame this year
} either, no justice in the world, must be that pinko liberal that used
} to be in the White House had something to do with it, and the fish was
} biting real good that night as well although you don't remember what
} happened next, except you woke up come next morning in the back yard
} with a bastid of a hangover and a weard soreness in your bee-hind
} region, and why won't that asshole in front of you get done anyway, so
} you can drive in and get done and be back on the road again before
} Cletus throws a hissy fit like he always does when you're late with the
} manure, but you're only one man after all, can't do everything, and
} this here truck ain't that fast anyway and the mileage really sucks,
} speaking of which, come on, already, what're you wating for over there,
} aint't got all day you know...
} But you've got to understand that there's a time for everything, and
} that time clearly wasn't it. You should have waited.
} Look, those signs are there for a reason. The'yre not just "trying to
} tell you what to do".
} You got off easy this time. Your hair will grow back, as well as most
} of your eyebrows. And your hearing will be restored in 3 to 4 week's
} That gas station attendant wasn't that fortunate, though.
} You owe it to the oracle to quit smoking.