} [ Priest note: After publication, this answer was found to be an
} existing work. It's been attributed to Darrell Goffinet, around or
} before Halloween 1994. ]
} Well, Supplicant, only if you don't pay heed to: The Oracle's Top
} 20 Ways Survive Halloween
} 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check
} to see if it's really dead.
} 2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary,
} was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants
} who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion,
} or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house,
} move away immediately.
} 3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
} 4. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
} 5. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which
} they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which
} is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you
} a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several
} rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
} 6. When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go
} it alone.
} 7. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
} 8. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave,
} tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
} 9. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find
} out that it's just the cat, *leave the room immediately if you value
} your life.*
} 10. If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
} 11. Do not take *anything* from the dead.
} 12. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for
} a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
} 13. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure
} you know what you're doing.
} 14. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down
} at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note
} that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely
} shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
} 15. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
} behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
} increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as
} 16. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
} listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're
} in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any
} small town in Maine.
} 17. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
} deserted-looking house to phone for help.
} 18. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple
} guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers,
} butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from
} deceased companions.
} 19. If you hear disembodied voices, do not wait to vacate the premises.
} 20. If a friend whom you know is dead calls out for help; DON'T.
} You owe the Oracle an idea for a really cool costume, and an extra
} handul of treats when he comes a-knockin'. And I'll know if you are
} just pretending you're not home....