} Your boss suffered an attack of Cult Quote Overflow (CQO, pronounced
} "cuckoo"). This is quite a common disorder amongst frequent Usenet
} posters where, as you probably know, any direct or indirect reference
} to a cult phenomenon such as Monty Python or Douglas Adams requires
} everyone else to instantly post follow-up quotes to indicate that
} they, too, are familiar with the source material. About 65% of all
} Usenet traffic now consists of such posts.
} Over time, Usenetters become sensitized, and anything that sounds like
} it might be an allusion is likely to set them off at inappropriate
} moments. Your boss's attack seems a fairly harmless one on the whole,
} though I am slightly concerned by the presence of Doctor Who material
} in there amongst the more familiar stuff. If his condition worsens,
} expect to hear such things as "These are not the droids you're looking
} for", "You talkin' to me?", "There can be only one!" and "My name is
} Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die". The terminal
} stages are characterized by such outbursts as "Smoke me a kipper, I'll
} be back for breakfast", "Don't cross the beams!" and "Klaatu barada
} nikto". When you hear any of these, you should put him out of his
} misery as quickly and humanely as possible.
} As to your outstanding problem, on no account use the Force, Luke - I
} mean, use any of this in the redesign of the type VI sorter. It's
} life, but not as we know it - I'm sorry, I can't do that, Dave . . .
} Argh! I meant to say, I'm sorry, I meant to say it's as funny as an
} amusingly shaped vegetable. No, I didn't! Deep breaths, Orrie. In,
} out, in, out . . . I'm in control. I'm a doctor, not a . . . not a
} . . . I am not a doctor, I am the Oracle. That's right, and I am not a
} number, I am a free man! I am the gatekeeper - are you the keymaster?
} Well, you can't be, because I ate his liver with some fava beans and
} a nice chianti. I'll have what she's having. I seem to be having
} tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle. I would have got away with it
} too, if it hadn't been for you pesky kids. I see a little silhouetto
} of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, won't you . . . Shut that bloody
} bouzouki up!
} Okay, I'm better now. All I was trying to say is that priming a
} distribution unit with endless examples of other people's humor is not
} going to make the world a better place, is it now? God knows, there's
} little enough originality around as it is - let's not implant even
} more people with the Python-parroting meme.
} You owe the Oracle a Royale with cheese, a good day to die and some of
} the violence inherent in the system. Make it so.