} Hmm...lessee here...too small to see under hair...too small to
} pop...large enough to hurt....
} GEEZUS! You've got an engorged mite in your head!
} Mites are usually peaceful and docile, living their complex social life
} in peace and harmony, feeding off of dead skin cells, sleeping in that
} space between a hair and the side of the tiny tiny hole your hair grows
} out of. However, once in a while, as is the nature of any society,
} you'll get one of those Orwellian-some-mites-are-more-equal-than-others
} citizens who disrupt the comprehensive socialist state that is known as
} mite society. These mites eat more than their share, forcing their
} brethren mites onto other follicles and while normally, they are unseen
} to the naked human eye, become quite large. You know that pain you get
} when you accidentally scratch that bump on your head? It's not what you
} think it is. It's actually that gluttonous mite biting into your head
} in a desperate attempt to stay lodged in its feeding space. And that's
} why you can't pop it either--that chitinous outer covering prevents any
} significant squashing. All you can hope for now is a revolution or at
} least major political divisions on your head. I suggest exposing your
} head to a bit of political propaganda--perhaps a sign that says, "All
} mites are born equal" or "Rise up and crush your oppressors!" Mites are
} quite small, even messages written on a small cue card and placed
} strategically in your hair are sure to gain notice because to them, the
} letters are in fact, a few hundred stories high. Just think, if you
} saw, "Liberty for all!" written in 80 story letters in the sky, you'd
} find it hard to ignore. Hopefully, mitedom will rise up and depose the
} oppressive engorged mite on your head. If not, then only a tactical
} nuclear strike, or a prolonged military action will prevent further
} coronal catastrophe.
} P.S. Don't use "Vive la Revolution!". Mites can't read French.