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} Well my friend, I have some bad news and some worse news. The bad news
} first: if you lift shell B there will be nothing in it, but if you lift
} shell A and scam the easy $10K, then shell B will have had the $1M to
} begin with. I know the Shell Game administrator personally; he's a
} malicious SOB who takes pleasure in watching his subjects go crazy
} trying to decide which shell to pick, then reveling in ecstasy as his
} subjects scream in anguish at having chosen the wrong shell. The way to
} go is to pick shell A, and rest well knowing you would never have had
} the $1 million to begin with.
}
} Now the worse news: According to Chapter IX, paragraph xvi,
} subparagraph 7 (Rules of the Shell Game), it is written:
}
} "Should the aforementioned Player consult any aforementioned god, deity,
} sage or oracle with regards to the aforementioned contents of
} aforementioned shells, then said Player is in violation of acceptable
} Shell Game play, as defined in Chapter V, paragraph xix, subparagraph 2,
} and is subject to one or more of the punishments at the hands of the
} aforementioned gamesmaster, administrator, demon or director as defined
} in Chapter XI, paragraph ii, subparagraphs 1-12."
}
} Hmm... guess we should check those sections.
}
} V, xix, 2: No cheating allowed.
}
} XI, ii: Acceptable punishments for violators of Shell Game Play as
} defined in Chapter V, paragraph xix, subparagraph 2:
}
} 1. Slap the Player around a bit.
} 2. Subject Player to several yoga lessons with Barbara, the
} net.suppleness.goddess.
} 3. Subject Player to several sexual insults from Lisa, the
} net.sex.goddess.
} 4. Subject Player to several quantum physics lessons with Janice, the
} net.physics.goddess.
} 5. Force Player to eat one hundred heads of broccoli topped with
} Cheez Whiz.
} 6. Force Player to eat one hundred jars of Cheez Whiz topped with
} broccoli.
} 7. Instruct Player to come up with one thousand original responses to
} the question "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood
} chuck could chuck wood?"
} 8. Instruct Player to round Pi to one million places. By hand. His
} choice of Taylor expansion.
} 9. Force Player to have sex with a bergulb. One with bad breath.
} 10. Force Player to sit through a nine hour poetry reading. All
} readers of poetry must have bad breath.
} 11. Torch Player; have his ashes scattered over Las Vegas.
} 12. Annihilate Player; have no ashes left to scatter.
}
} If your game administrator is kind enough to give you the choice of
} punishment, I'd suggest the torching. You're more likely to survive
} that than you are even one bottle of Cheez Whiz or a half hour poetry
} reading.
}
} You owe the Oracle your $10K and two round trip tickets to Las Vegas.
} If you ask me real nice, I'll scatter your ashes myself.
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