} [ A sparklingly clean laboratory, deep below the sub-basements
} of Indiana University. Along the walls are white rodents and
} huge chimpanzees in cages, some of the animals are running on
} exercised wheels, some of them are sleeping, most are sitting,
} mouths open, starting at monitors. All have wires poking out
} of their brains attaching them to bank after bank of old
} discarded 286s and vats of bubbling goo. We see the Oracle
} and Zadoc approaching. They are wearing white smocks and
} safety glasses. ]
} Oracle: This is the Oracle Research Lab. Here we rigorously
} test all of our humor before passing it along to
} you, our loyal and valued customers.
} [ A light flashes over one of the rat cages. Zadoc rushes
} over and peers into the cage. ]
} Oracle: Ah! Here's a tested joke now.
} Zadoc: Sorry Wisest One, it seems the rat in the next cage was
} just gagging on a bit of carrot and this one was laughing
} at it.
} Oracle: Ho,ho,ho. Well, before we released rec.humor.oracle.d
} to the public we tried some different flavors out on
} our test 'pets'. Let's see...
} [ The Oracle checks a clipboard. ]
} Oracle: rec.humor.oracle.a was monitored 24 hours a day by
} a trained humorist. rec.humor.oracle.b was linked to
} our bank of computers and whatever topic was being
} discussed it provided humorous links...
} Zadoc: Master! This ape is tossing banana peels all over!
} Oracle: Deal with it. rec.humor.oracle.c was an international
} group, we had a diverse group of talented youth selected
} by talent shows held in rain forest friendly bars around
} the world.
} Zadoc: WISE ONE! The apes are in a food fight!
} Oracle: Worm! I'm busy. Look, Okay here...
} [ The Oracle walks over towards Zadoc, promptly steps on a
} banana peel and -kersplat!- slips and falls on his butt.
} All the lights over all the cages light up. The apes all
} hoot and hoot. The rodents leap about clapping their tiny
} paws. The Oracle looks up from the floor towards the
} supplicant. ]
} Oracle: <sigh> rec.humor.oracle.d was the control group where
} these, these 'charges' here selected what humor was
} [ A huge glob of something spalts on the Oracle's safety
} glasses. The room goes wild. ]
} Oracle: Oh, well. They do work for peanuts.
} [ All the lights go off, the room grows silent. The Oracle
} shrugs then sticks his hand in his armpit and pumps it
} back and forth making funny sounds. The lights all go
} back on and hilarity resumes. ]
} Oracle: Why fight it?