} Hello, and welcome to another edition of:
} Sounds: Aren't they funny?
} New research into the `fr' sounds indicate a hitherto undiscovered
} potential. The Human Speech Project (HSP) has reached the `fr',
} and several independent tests shows a consideral humoristic
} potential such as has not been seen since the `br' sound (classics
} as `briibah', `brunch', `broobar' and `braarh'). The unsuspected
} surprise `friibah', the first funny `fr'-word to be found, was
} also the first hint at the newest breakthrough. Suspicions were
} further confirmed when the even funnier `fr'-word `fraarh' was
} found, and experts now agree that much of the funniness is to be
} ascribed to the otherwise innocent looking `r'.
} A new wing in the research has even claimed that this is not a
} singular case, but that the funniness of a word can be directly
} ascribed to the `r'-density. This rather radical claim is supported
} by a number of examples (`ruhr' is funnier than `rooahr' etc.),
} but is not widely recognized, and in fact counterexamples exist
} (`dimaan' is funny but `drimaan', `dirmaan', `dirmraan' and
} `dimaarn' is just noise).
} The main stream of the research leans more towards the view that
} it is the conjunction of `r' to another consonant that
} imbues the other consonant with funniness and the classical
} consonant-conjunction-test (see table) seems to support this.
} `r'-conjunction (the `*ii'-test):
} brii (5), crii (3), drii (6), frii (5), grii (4), hrii (4),
} jrii (3), krii (2), lrii (-), mrii (4), nrii (5), prii (3),
} qrii (-), ------- , srii (4), trii (4), vrii (7), wrii (3),
} xrii (-), zrii (2).
} Note especially the all-time highscoring `vrii'. The experts agree
} that this is indeed a breakthroug, but also that much is still to
} be researched, but already now the amateur has certainly been given
} a new powerful way of beginning words.