} Hmmm. Others would have no doubt given you a
} hilarious story with many visions of times past and
} cool special effects. But alas, you have met an
} incarnation working on a very limited budget. Let us
} see, then, if we can still give you a worthy answer...
} [Begin a series of signs drawn on cardboard with
} colored crayons:]
} BUDGET ORACLE SOCK PUPPET THEATRE
} MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING - THE KEY TO RICHES!!!
} [Scene: A cut-out cardboard box used as a theatre
} with two sock puppets, JOE and FRANK. JOE is an
} average joe, and FRANK is dressed in what's supposed
} to represent an expensive suit.]
} FRANK: Hey Joe! Say, I've just found the way to earn
} a whole lot of money! Wanna know what it is?
} JOE: Sure I do...
} FRANK: Just buy this horribly overpriced soap from
} me, and find five people to sell it to! Then they sell
} it on, and you'll get all the profits. You'll be rich
} in no time!
} JOE: So this is like a p...
} FRANK: *Don't say that word!* This may look like one
} of those evil schemes to get your money, but it's not!
} Trust me! You'll be very very rich!
} JOE: Okay...
} FRANK: Just give me the money and I'll send you the
} [JOE vanishes briefly, and comes up with some "play
} money" in his mouth. Somewhat akwardly, he hands this
} over to FRANK]
} [A sign pops up, saying "sometime later...". The JOE
} puppet has been slightly rumpled. FRANK now has
} several bills of "play money" sewn to him.]
} FRANK: Hey Joey! How's it going?
} JOE: Very bad. The old lady next door is deaf, the
} lady below says she doesn't want any, her neighbor
} already has three *tons* of soap and no-one to give it
} to, and the guy above sick his dog on me when I tried.
} FRANK: Aaaw, that's too bad! But don't worry! All you
} have to do is buy these incredibly expensive books on
} how to influence people, and you'll be selling all the
} soap you're getting from me in no time! In fact, I'll
} sell you some *more* soap right now, so you don't run
} out of it later!
} JOE: Okay...
} [JOEY gives FRANK more money.]
} [The "sometime later..." sign returns. When it is
} gone, JOE looks like he's been stepped on several
} times, while FRANK is wearing a suit made of play
} JOE: I have a *ton* of soap in my house and I can't
} sell it to anyone! My wife left me! I gave you all my
} money, and I never got anything to show for it! This
} system is bogus!
} FRANK: On the contrary, it works perfectly! You're
} the fifth sucker I got this month!
} [FRANK exits with a laugh, leaving JOE to scrunch up
} his sock-puppet face and cry silently.]
} [The sock puppets are withdrawn and the Oracle steps
} out from behind the box.]
} And there you have it, supplicant. The big secret of
} Multi-Level Marketing is that people are idiots who
} will give you all their money if you promise to make
} them rich.
} You owe the Oracle some better visual aids.