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Internet Oracularities #1335

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Internet Oracularities #1335    (55 votes, 3.2 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 08:25:54 -0500 (EST)

To find out all about the Internet Oracle (TM), including how to
participate, send mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help"
in the subject line.  ("Internet Oracle" is a trademark of Stephen
B Kinzler.)

Let us know what you like!  Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very bad") to 5 ("very good") with the
volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to
this message).  For example:
   1335
   2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1

1335  55 votes 7lbf1 dgg91 3asb3 0hqc0 19dp7 158kl 15mha 17dek 3hi89 3cjba
1335  3.2 mean  2.7   2.4   3.0   2.9   3.5   4.0   3.5   3.8   3.1   3.2


1335-01    (7lbf1 dist, 2.7 mean)
Selected-By: "Mark Lawrence" <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle most wise,
>
> Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} All the animals below him on the food chain.


1335-02    (dgg91 dist, 2.4 mean)
Selected-By: "Mark Lawrence" <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Grand wise, and elusive Oracle,
>
> Why is my elbow swelling up?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} That's what happens when you cook it.
}
} You owe the Oracle some penne rigate.


1335-03    (3asb3 dist, 3.0 mean)
Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) <dvk@lonewolf.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O most realistic Oracle, please tell me:
>
> Why do I never get the chance to betray a woman's love for $2 million?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Hi there, Lisa here.
}
} Orrie couldn't come up with anything better than a comment about the
} size of your biceps, so I decided I'd answer this question for him,
} to try and bring more of a female perspective in.
}
} Really, the source of the problem is that personal ad that you placed:
}
} > SWM w/ large potbelly, low IQ, and unpleasant odor seeks SWF for money
} > and betrayal.  Send photos and measurements to [address removed].
}
} Now, women like to have a certain romantic unknown in relationships.
} For one thing, labelling a few of your faults up front just gives us
} less to complain about.  And although we say we like honesty, normal
} practice is to just leave the betrayal part implicit.  That said,
} the main problem is those biceps.  If you want to attract a woman that
} you can betray for a couple million of dollars, you either have to do
} your research and find a drug lordess or pump those guns a bit first.
}
} You owe Lisa a gym membership for the Oracle.


1335-04    (0hqc0 dist, 2.9 mean)
Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) <dvk@lonewolf.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, most...you know, that word that begins with 'i', the one that
> means smart...who knows all and sees all, including that word that means
> eating fancy food, that one that begins with 'd'.
>
> How do I make better my...that word that begins with a 'v', means the
> words you know...oh, yeah, vocabulary. How do I make my vocabulary
> smarter?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} That question again! So you didn't like my last answer? So you thought
} you could post the same question again, hoping it would be answered by
} a different incarnation this time??? You are just *so* wrong...
}
} Fortunately for you I not only empty my trash folder regularly but also
} my folder with sent mails. I might have seriously been tempted to
} resend my first answer. Would have served you right.
}
} What about my advice was it you didn't like? The hard work? Well, only
} nothing comes from nothing. No pain, no gain. Or don't you have a
} dictionary or an encyclopedia? You can always get one from you local
} library, you know. Ah... maybe I'm beginning to see the problem here...
} uhm. Sorry I've used smart words like dictionary in my answer. You
} can't of course understand them.
}
} But maybe my answer wasn't funny enough for your taste. You were
} expecting something that made you rolling on the floor, laughing. An
} answer that not only made it into the digest but also into the next
} "best of". You were reasoning: I deserve the most funniest answer that
} exists in the universe. Or at least you would if you had smarter
} vocabulary.
}
} Sheesh, I can't even remember that sentence with the two factions of
} physicists any more...
}
} So I have to come up with new ways of helping you towards a smarter
} vocabulary. Ok, here are....
}
} The top ten ways to get a smarter vocabulary:
}
} 10. Go to a bookstore and ask for "A smarter vocabulary for dummies".
}  9. Try the new improved "InstaSmart" (tm). Only $99.99 per sachet.
}  8. Send your vocabulary off to a public school, for instance Eton.
}  7. Watch some open university programs like "Sesame Street" or
}     "Teletubbies" on tv.
}  6. Emigrate to Australia. You don't *need* smart vocabulary there.
}  5. Get a spouse. Your better half usually has a genetic predisposition
}     (sorry for that. Ask a friend for a translation) to take over your
}     part of any conversation thus relieving you of the need to get a
}     better vocabulary.
}  4. You can get some smart nigerian vocabulary. All we need from you is
}     a token payment of $5,000 into our Cayman bank account.
}  3. Work in a school or college. Vocabulary has a tendency to "rub
}     off".
} 2. Try to buy one at ebay.
}
} And the number 1 way to get a smarter vocabulary is...
}
}  1. Get a speaking parrot. Then pretend you are a ventriloquist.
}
} You owe the Oracle to learn the word "intelligent" before you repost
} the question again.


1335-05    (19dp7 dist, 3.5 mean)
Selected-By: Ian Davis

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Praise the Oracle, no greater glory than to have The Oracle
> ponder one's question!
>
> Would Science exist without the existence of people?
> Or is Science an extension of human existence?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Your grovel is almost right: the one greater glory is to have the
} Oracle pondering one's question while that same one is helping the
} staff keep the Temple tidy and well polished.  But close enough.
}
} Ah, now Science... a worthy question indeed!  But as appears to be
} common for you mortals, you seem to have things a little confused.
} Neither of your statements is true.  Science neither requires
} nor extends from the existence of humans.  Rather, it is more the
} other way 'round... humans would not exist were it not for the 8th
} grade science experiment of a young Mr. Yahweh which went awry.
} Let me recall the scene for you:
}   Mr. Anegnon:   Okay class, today we are going to be doing a
}                  demonstration of how to create protoplasm!
}   Class:         "Kewl!"  "Ick!"  "Will this be on the test?"
}   Mr. Anegnon:   First I need you all to get out your beakers and...
}   [loud BLAM! comes from the back of class]
}   Yahweh:        Oops!
}   Mr. Anegnon:   Mr. Yahweh!  What did you do this time?!
}   Yaweh:         Uhm...
}   [Mr. Anegnon walks over to Yahweh's station]
}   Mr. Anegnon:   [sternly] Did I tell you to pour in the
}                  proto-protoplasm in yet?
}   Yahweh:        [sheepishly] Uh, no sir.
}   Mr. Anegnon:   That's right!  And now...
}   [Yahweh's lab partner breaks in]
}   MaryEve:       Ooooh!  They're so cute!!!
}   Mr. Anegnon:   Pardon?
}   MaryEve:       The little things in Yahweh's flask, Mr. Anegnon!
}                  They're just sooooo adorable!  Look at the way they
}                  squirm!  I bet they'd be real good at groveling, sir!
}   Mr. Anegnon:   What are you tal...
}   Yahweh:        Oh wow!  I mean, like, man!!!  You're right MaryEve!
}                  I bet they'd worship me and everything!
}   Mr. Anegnon:   Now just a minute there...
}   Yahweh:        Yeah, I think I'll name this one "Adam", because he
}                  looks kinda like a little "atom" (chuckles to self).
}                  And I'll  call this one "Eve" 'cause she's so cute.
}   (MaryEve blushes)
}   Yahweh:        Yeah, and I'll name some more on down to the seventh
}                  generation, or something.
}   Mr. Anegnon:   That will be enough of that!  Mr. Yahweh, I'll have
}                  no "playing god" in this class!  I've heard from
}                  Mr. Ethos that you've not been doing well in his
}                  class, and I will not permit you to lord over these...
}                  these... uh, hairless apes of yours!
}   Yahweh (sulkily): yessir.
}   Mr. Anegnon:   Now flush out your flask and let's start over.
}   Yahweh:        yessir.
}   [Mr. Anegnon turns to walk back to the front of the class.
}   Meanwhile Yahweh does a little switcheroo and puts the flask
}   with his little accident in his pack and pulls out an empty one.]
}   Mr. Anegnon:   [Turning back to face the class, and looking carefully
}                  at Yahweh, seeing him finishing scrubbing his flask]
}                  Very well, as I was saying...
}
} So you see, you humans were just a science lab accident of some
} pimply-faced god-in-training.  Your existence is just an extension
} of this Science-gone-wrong that he's continued in his basement.
} (Just hope his mom doesn't find your little universe down there,
} or you'll be put out with the trash!)
}
} You owe the Oracle some disinfectant.


1335-06    (158kl dist, 4.0 mean)
Selected-By: lawrence.4@pop.service.ohio-state.edu

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O Oracle, omniscient and precognitive,
>
> What disastrous event will ruin this wonderful day?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The supplicant whistled as he locked the door to his house and headed
} to his car.  He had been feeling good all morning, ever since he had
} woken up to see the sun shining, gotten his cup of coffee, and done the
} one thing truly necessary to confirm the start of the new day: sending
} off a cheerful question to the ever humorous Internet Oracle.  What
} could go wrong on a beautiful day like this?
}
} As he stepped over to his car, he noticed that a bird had used his
} windshield as a lavatory.  Several times.  But that was okay: he just
} got out his trusty cleaning rag and spray and rubbed it right off.  And
} since he had left for work two hours earlier than he needed too, there
} was still no rush.
}
} He got in and drove down the street, waving at his smiling neighbors.
} "How can a day get any better than this?" he thought to himself as he
} absent mindedly backed over his mail box, crushing it.  Seeing what he
} had done, he grinned sheepishly and went and chopped off a branch,
} which he then proceeded to carve into a new pole to replace the broken
} out before he continued on his way to the freeway on-ramp.
}
} Not ten seconds later, traffic crawled to a halt.  But the supplicant
} didn't mind, because he was still one and a half hours ahead of
} schedule and he had his favorite tape playing.  Just then, the tape
} deck began to screech and ooze out the melted tape.  He frowned, but it
} was okay, because he could always listen to the radio.
}
} Thirty minutes later, he had moved ten feet forward.  And then his
} radio went out.  That distracted him, but he didn't mind because he
} could spend the time wondering what had happened to the radio.  And he
} still had an hour before he needed to get to work.
}
} Seven minutes later, a falling radio satellite crashed down from the
} sky and crushed his car, causing a huge fire.  Luckily, a courageous
} motorist in a different vehicle pulled him out just in time before his
} car exploded in a massive fireball, and the EMTs that arrived thirty
} minutes later took him off to the hospital to be treated for the third
} degree burns over 90% of his body.  But he didn't mind, mainly because
} he was unconscious.  Even had he been conscious, though, he would still
} not have minded, because he would have been satisfied knowing why his
} radio had suddenly stopped working.
}
} Half an hour later, he woke up in the Emergency Room, during a surgery.
} He began screaming, but he didn't mind too much, because he realized
} that it would have been time for work now, and this would certainly be
} considered an excused absence.
}
} That evening, they even rolled a computer next to his hospital bed so
} that he could check his e-mail from the day.  "How nice of them," he
} thought.  "I was pessimistic to think that a disaster could come and
} ruin such a nice day."  And there in his inbox was the answer to the
} question he had asked that morning.
}
} He smiled gleefully, causing himself only minor discomfort by
} stretching the burnt flesh, as he opened the message.
}
} --msg 1 of 1--
}
} The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
} Your question was:
}
} > O Oracle, omniscient and precognitive,
} >
} > What disastrous event will ruin this wonderful day?
}
} And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
}
} } hOw shOulD I nO
} } ZZZZZZZZZ-OT!
}
} --end msg 1 of 1--
}
} And then the supplicant broke down in tears, for the answer was
} terrible, and receiving it had ruined his whole day.


1335-07    (15mha dist, 3.5 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Wise Oracle most worldly and hale,
>
>  Is time on Mars the same as time on Earth?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, no. You see, it's like this.
}
} The sidereal rotational period of Earth is 23h 56m 4s, and its tropical
} orbit period 365d 5h 48m 46s, so it rotates about 366.24258 times
} during each orbit. But since it orbits as it goes around the sun, one
} of those rotation is, in effect, cancelled out, so there are an average
} of 365.24258 "days" per "year", and each "day" is, on average, 24
} hours. This is the basis of the Earth's calendar system.
}
} Now Mars has a sidereal rotational period of 24h 37m 22s and a tropical
} orbit period of 686d 23h 21m 7s, which gives 669.59756 rotations per
} orbit, which gives 668.59756 days per year, and an average day of 24h
} 39m 35s.
}
} Now you can imagine the problems with imposing a Terran calender on
} Mars. Firstly, the days are 40 minutes out of sync. Set your alarm
} clock to 8am, and two weeks later you'll be waking up in the middle of
} the night. Speaking of weeks, if we use seven Martians days a week,
} Mars gets 95 weeks and three-or-four days per year.
}
} Months. The word 'month' comes from 'moon', and Earth's moon is a ruddy
} big one, and goes around every four weeks or so. Mars has two tiny
} titchy little moons, which go around it every couple of days. Not much
} to go on, so we might pick an artificial month, just for convenience's
} sake. Let's have, oh, fourteen months a year, that's
} forty-seven-and-a-bit days on average. (Nobody said we have to have
} twelve months a year.) That makes ten months of 48, and four of 47 days
} (but see below).
}
} Now of course there's the same problem Earth has, that the years don't
} divide nicely into days, so we have leap years. Mars could manage quite
} nicely with 668.6 days per year, which means extra days every three
} years out of five, but the .5975 bit means we have to leave off one of
} those extra days every 400 years, kind of like Earth, really. We still
} end up with a surplus, but we don't have to worry about that for a few
} millennia.
}
} So you see, Mars would need a quite different calendar to Earth in
} order to function properly. I know this wasn't very funny, but I have
} to provide serious answers once in a while, so you lot don't forget I'm
} omniscient.
}
} You owe the Oracle a Mars bar.


1335-08    (17dek dist, 3.8 mean)
Selected-By: Dr. Noe <drnoe@adelphia.net>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> How much rain
> could a train sustain
> if the train
> was made from woodchuck brain?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} EXPERIMENT #383
} Conducted 2003-09-10 by The Usenet Oracle, Zadoc, and
} Lisa (Motivational support)
}
} HOW MUCH RAIN A TRAIN MADE OUT OF WOODCHUCK BRAIN CAN
} SUSTAIN
}
} THE OBJECTIVE:
} To analyze how much rain a train can sustain if the
} train is made from woodchuck brain. The train is
} considered as not not being able to sustain any more
} rain after it has decomposed to an extent where it is
} no longer useful as a train.
}
} THE MATERIAL:
} The Train:
} The train is a classic toy style __  ___      _______
} train (model choo-choo) with a   ||__|#| ___  |[][][|
} locomotive, a coal wagon, and a {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
} passenger wagon. Four separate  /oooo OO O  O  O O O
} trains were built, so that the
} experiment could be conducted
} with a variety of rains.
}
} The Brain:
} The brain is collected from a      ..
} total of 274 woodchucks, capable  .###.
} of chucking 473 pieces of wood    *####
} altogether.                          **
}
} The rain:                         |^|
} The rain was dispensed from four  | |
} separate showers in the shower    |*|
} room at the local football arena. |_|
}
} We decided to test the effects of a variety of different rains
} to observe the different reactions. We used the following:
}
} Plain water
} Lye
} Sulfuric acid
} Phenol
}
} THE EXPERIMENT:
}
}    __  ___      _______   __  ___      _______
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|   ||__|#| ___  |[][][|
}   {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|  {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O   /oooo OO O  O  O O O
}          WATER                   LYE
}
}
}    __  ___      _______   __  ___      _______
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|   ||__|#| ___  |[][][|
}   {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|  {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O   /oooo OO O  O  O O O
}       SULFURIC ACID             PHENOL
}
} We labeled the trains to show what kind of rain they are
} sustaining. In this picture, the showers have just been
} started, but no reaction has yet been observed.
}
}    __  ___      _______   _.  _._      ,_.____
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|   ||_.|=| _._  |[][](|
}   {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|  (|_|_|_|.|_.|.|__||_|
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O   /oooo OO O  O  O O O
}          WATER                   LYE
}
}                                 ""      ""
}    __  ,__      _______    _" __ "  "   _____
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|   /|__|#\ ___  /[][][\
}   {|_|_|_|.|__i.|__||_|  /|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O   .oooo OO O  O  O O O
}       SULFURIC ACID             PHENOL
}
} Thirty seconds of rain and the following has happened:
} *Nothing special with train A (Water)
} *The surface of train B (Lye) is crumpling and oozing in
} a icky way.
} *Not much unusual can be seen at train C (H2SO4), but
} Zadoc reports that it is quite hot to the touch.
} *Train D (Phenol) is getting slightly deformed, and
} emanates a faint smoke.
}
}    __  ___      _______   ,   . ,      ,_ _, .
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|   |._ |-| .    |[-[].|
}   {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|  ,|_|=|_|.|_-|.|-_||_|
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O   /oooo OO O  O  O O O
}          WATER                   LYE
}                 ##
}      ##  ##   #  ## #            **  "*  **
}     # #   ## #   #   #      * "  *"**    "
}    --#_/+\  __# ------|     __/\"" "  * ,--.
}   ,|_|_|_|./__,.|#=||=|    /,_,_\.,==../_-||\
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O    .ooo OO O  .  O O .
}       SULFURIC ACID             PHENOL
}
} After sixty seconds of rain the following observations
} were made:
} *Train A is still sustaining the rain.
} *The surface of Train B is now boiling as the rain eats
} its way down through it.
} *Train C has started to smoke fiercly, as well as slowly
} melting.
} *Train D is now very deformed, and the smoke is getting
} thicker.
}
}    __  ___      _______
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|   . , _ ,      .,  ,. ,
}   {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|   |:,..,;-.,,-:.-,,:_.
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O   ,..oo ;O O  .  O . O
}          WATER      #            LYE
}     #  #### ##  ### ##
}    #### ##### ## ## #           "## "*#  ##
}     # #  ### ## ## # #      # *" #*##"   *
}      # #  # ### ### ##        * ** *  *
}    #.##/=\.====.======       ___* ""    "__"
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O      /_ .\ .-.."/.,.\
}       SULFURIC ACID             PHENOL
}
} The status after 90 seconds:
} *Nothing has happened to train A.
} *Train B is now a writhing, putrid mass of something.
} *Train C smokes immensly, still melting down.
} *Train D has been reduced to a few lumps of woodchuck
} brain.
}
} We decided that Train B and Train D no longer were useful
} as trains, and thus could not sustain more than 90
} seconds of rain.
}
}    __  ___      _______
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|
}   {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O
}          WATER
}
}
}
}
}  .  . . _  . _ _. . .
}       SULFURIC ACID
}
} After 120 seconds of rain, Train C was also unable to
} sustain more. Still no reaction on Train A.
}
}    __  ___      _______
}    ||__|#| ___  |[][][|
}   {|_|_|_|.|__|.|__||_|
}   /oooo OO O  O  O O O
}          WATER
}
} After 24 hours of rain and still no reaction on Train A,
} we decided that Train A could sustain a Very Long (tm)
} time of rain.
}
} CONCLUSION:
} To answer your question, supplicant, it is difficult to
} give an answer because, as above experiment showed, the
} amount of rain the train can sustain very much depends
} on what kind of rain it is. Therefore, we do not
} recommend you to attempt to travel with a train made out
} of woodchuck brain if the weather forecasts any lye
} rains in the near future.
}
} You owe the Oracle a way to dispose of all the woodchuck
} corpses.


1335-09    (3hi89 dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: Otis Viles <drey@speakeasy.org>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> dou=los seu= pro\s to\n ginw/skonta pa/nta
> h(me/ras te kai\ nukto/s te kai\ ma/ntha
> pante/ssi, xa/ris.
>
> le/ge pro/s me kata\ tou=to e)n au)tofw/nw|
> xrhsmw|= mega/listo.  ei)/ ge me\n o(doi=si
> anere/ssi le/gw de\ u)/brei kalhsa/menoi/ soi
> a)ti/mistos le/gei to\ misqe/ein se,
> a)nqrwpokte/nwmen dh\ au)tou/s;  me ou) mh\ zw/te
> za/omenon u(pe\r seu=.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, of course it doesn't compile:
}
} > > seu= pro\s
} Remember that blanks end a command? So you are not initializing seu
} with pro you are initializing seu with "".
} \s is still performed on pro but variables are immutable with backslash
} operations so pro is not altered.
}
} > > to\n ginw/skonta pa/nta
} That's an infinite loop. Ok, you later leave with an "eXtended Address"
} jump to the address in ris but it's still bad style.
}
} > > h(me/ras te kai\ nukto/s te kai\
} You realize that you assign the crypted string me to kai only to
} immediately overwrite kai with a typcast of nukto to string? Why?
}
} > > ma/ntha pante/ssi, xa/ris.
} > >
} The empty line acts as block-end for the loop you started with to\n.
} Ok. But xa/ris is an *unconditioned* long jump. Why start a loop in the
} first place?
}
} > > le/ge pro/s me kata\
} Ok.
}
} > > tou=to e)n au)tofw/nw|
} It's better style to write each case into a seperate line, like:
} e)n
} au)tofw/nw|
}
} > > xrhsmw|= mega/listo.
} You "or" you're register set here with a decimal in mega (M) notation.
} Your registers together have 48 bits. listo in mega notation 16. But
} the |- doesn't know that. So, xr are or'ed with listo and hsmw are ored
} with whatever is in the memory position &listo+2 onwards. This is
} uninitialized data - unless you are trying to implement a random number
} generator this makes no sense (try num/<yourvar>\rand/<seed> for random
} numbers)
}
} > > o(doi=si
} Typo there, I think. You surely mean o)doi=si?
}
} > > a)ti/mistos le/gei to\ misqe/ein se,
} > > a)nqrwpokte/nwmen dh\
} Duplicate label error. Labels may only be used once in any switch.
}
} > > za/omenon u(pe\r seu=.
} You don't need to free seu. The garbage collector will do that for you.
}
} Sorry, but I have to give you a "D" for that. You really *should* have
} read "Kinkos for dummies" which I suggested as good course-related
} reading at the beginning of the term.
}
} You owe the Oracle a better editor for coding in Whitespace.


1335-10    (3cjba dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) <dvk@lonewolf.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O greatest Oracle, w
> system of writing wi
>  s form a continuohs
> wr I demonstrate uie
> eeo the idea.  Iiscs
> nthe am always  t ht
>  twkIder to retc p
> ye i rannot baoatamo
> rlrl;ac is tedlnotaf
> a e sh ton?h ,d ,hk
> netoi yas  er  f ,et
> ohtthtlhaer iwtin sh
> ita tirW  .tghhnol e
> t ms  aelc hciadbiim
> ug mrsekam ti t okt
> lnoeof nosaer onde a
> oines reve esle y el
> vv ,revewoH  .sihtal
> eah yb daer ot reis,
> r a detnevni evah I

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The reason?
}
} You're not following
}
} THE TOP TEN SYSTEMS TO TYPE
}
} 10. The syst
}     your que
}      o easem
}     so .)yt
}     it( noiy
}      desu uo
}
} 9. BETTER
}      H
}      IS
}      S
}
} 8.    Y
}      OUC
}     ANMAK
}     E L I
}     T TLE
} FIGURESLIKE
} THISHOUSE..
}
} 7. BB  I  GGG
}    B B I G
}    BB  I G GG
}    B B I G  G
}    BBB I  GGG
}      _ _ _  _ _
} 6.  /|/_/,|||||
}    /_|_\|| ||||
}   //||_/\_|||||
}
} 5. t3h 0r4c13 10v35 h4x0r-sp34k!!
}
} 4. YUO CNA TYPEXOR IN AOL-SPAEK 2!!!!!11
}
} 3. You can srcabmle the ltetres too as long as the frsit and lsat
} ltetr is rghit.
}
} 2. Or if y*u w**t to g*t a b*t m**e h**d-c**e y*u c*n t**e l**e t**s.
}
} 1. Ultra-compression: .
}
} You owe the Oracle some ultra-compressed p.. eh, magazines. You know
} what I mean.


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