} Ah, Supplicant,
} it is a common misconception to think of Weeki Wachee Springs as a
} sweatshop, or zoo.
} Weeki Wachee Springs, the "Mermaid Refuge" as it is known in those
} circles, was founded 56 years ago not by men exploiting mermaids but by
} men _under the spell of mermaids_. This might sound as just a trivial
} difference but the ramifications are huge. Believe me.
} Not that the Oracle has ever been under the spell of mermaids, of
} course. Dear me, no! I'm far too omniscient to fall for _any_ scheme,
} even if it works on the more basic instincts. Apart from that, Lisa is
} an active member of the "clubbing mermaids for fun and profit"
} movement, so they never last very long around here anyway (that's with
} the exception of the trophy room, where they last _very_ long indeed).
} To get back to your question: yes, mermaid are an endangered species.
} But that's not why they founded Weeki Wachee Springs. Due to the
} abscence of mermen they have been an endangered species for so long
} that they don't get overly excited about it.
} No, they founded the Refuge Of Weeki Wachee Springs to get away from
} all those pot-bellied, zero-performing and un-gilled men that went
} after them every time they showed up near a popular beach.
} Honestly, I don't blame them. The prey they were after, those
} Hasslehoffesque bay watchers, stayed firmly put on the beach until one
} of the swimmers got into danger. So they lured innocent swimmers into
} their lair. Only to find out that they don't have gills so that any sex
} had to be rather straightforward, not to say very fast. And that the
} bay watchers, when they came to collect the bodies, didn't stay.
} So they decided to work the other way round. They found some men
} willing to act at their bidding and started to leave the deep blue seas
} in order to settle in a controlled habitat. To you it might look as if
} they would be performing a choreographed ballet based on the idea of a
} man who will only make it to Broadway if he takes a bus. In reality
} it's one of the many mating dances of the mermaids. Uncounted are the
} numbers of tourists who have fallen to this evil trick of theirs, only
} to stay in Weeki Wachee Springs as personel, or lovers, or both.
} To answer your question as what to do with a school - and yes, let's
} call it a school, since that's what it is (you could also call them a
} platoon - though since they are not part of a larger campaign, the term
} would be technically incorrect) - of mermaids gone berserk, well, it
} depends on your point of view. The Oracle of course has no problem with
} If you're one of those puritans with a weird idea of sexuality you
} would probably like to nuke them. Don't try. They survived for eons
} without any males around, so they probably are not prone to death.
} If you're female and your better half has fallen for them: oh come on -
} what do you want a guy _that stupid_ for anyway?
} If you're male and they rejected you: if you really don't see that
} you've been very, very lucky indeed, see your therapist.
} If you're male and currently under water, in the midst of really wild
} sex: develope gills. Fast.
} You owe the Oracle a weekend in Weeki Wachee Springs. Not for himself.
} For Lisa.