} In a surprise development, Maxis Inc. released the top-secret sequel
} to its incredibly popular game _The_Sims_, _The_Not-So_Sims_.
} Not only does this new game support true 3D graphics, but it also
} incorporates ultra-realistic environments and highly sophisticated
} artifical intelligence that will make the game sure to fly off the
} shelves. But the biggest selling point is the Sim Me expansion pack,
} expected to be released next month, which comes with a brain-recording
} helmet to fully incorporate any person's character, personality,
} and abilities into the game.
} No beta-testers of the new product could be reached for comment,
} but some of their electronic alter-egos agreed to be interviewed:
} "You mean that all reality is a computer game being played by people
} with no lives? That's depressing. On the other hand, it explains
} a lot."
} "All I ever do is sleep, eat, and play Nethack! Life is great!"
} "It is sooo realistic! Well, I'm biased. But every triangle in my
} body is rendered perfectly!"
} "The existence of this 'outside world' where an omnipotent, human-like
} 'player' controls everything can neither be proven nor disproven
} and is not an interesting question to debate. Besides, I'm too busy
} writing a computer game involving simulated people's everyday lives
} to talk with you."
} "Does this have anything to do with the fact that the world suddenly
} become all blurry when I go to the bathroom?"
} Human rights groups are planning protests for the release of SimMe,
} saying that this is the first time that middle-class computer users
} have been the target of massive eugenics program.
} Will Wright, creator of _The_Not-So_Sims_, was quoted as saying,
} "It is not the job of software companies to control how their
} software is used. If people buy our software and devote their lives
} to character development in a universe where I am the absolute ruler,
} who am I to stop them?"
} You owe the Oracle a hot tub, a plasma TV, and doorbell that
} automatically *ZOT*s visitors.