} That's a tough question, one whose answer cannot be fully appreciated
} without a long and difficult journey.
} First, you need to download the sources for the Linux kernel,
} version 2.4.24. Grep the source tree for the word "chocolate", and
} concatenate all the line numbers that that word appears on (in order)
} to form one big number. Memorize that number. Wait until Thursday,
} then step outside at 3:20 PM. Set your watch to start beeping after
} two hours, and stick your thumb out when a red minivan goes by.
} The soccer mom will step out, point a gun at you, and order you to
} get inside. Once she's tied you up, wait for your watch to go off.
} When it does, she'll think that the bomb in the glove compartment
} is about to go off and pull over to disarm it. Use the opportunity
} to grab the knife under the middle seat belt and cut your bonds.
} While she's still distracted, run up to the white, two-story building
} that you should be nearby. A guard at the front door will ask for
} the password: repeat the number you memorized. Then he will ask
} you for your ID card, but he will be off his guard, giving you time
} to slit his throat, making sure not to get blood on the uniform.
} Put on his uniform, and walk inside. Take the first left, and walk
} down the hall until you see a lab with a red door. Enter, and take
} the prototype pocket blowtorch off one of the tables. Go out the
} back door of the building, jump into the river, and float downstream
} until you see a big sewer pipe emptying into the river, which you
} should enter. Take the third right, then the first left, and find
} a manhole overhead. You should hear "Hail to the Chief" playing.
} Use the blowtorch to cut around the rim of the manhole (time your
} work to finish when "Hail to the Chief" finishes), and a person with
} a briefcase should fall through. Grab the briefcase and push him
} into the sludge. The code for the lock is the President's birthday.
} Discard the phone assembly, being very careful not to press any of the
} buttons, and feel around the bottom of the briefcase for a catch that
} will release the false bottom, which you will now be able to remove.
} Look inside.
} That's what.
} Of course, you'll only have a couple minutes before the Secret Service
} arrests you, but that's what you get for asking your question without
} You owe the Oracle the use of the word "rutabaga" during your testimony
} at your trial.