} Shortly before he died, Sir Alfred undertook just such a project.
} Sadly, his will specified that it not be released in its half-
} completed state. However I can share with you the broad outlines.
} The working title was Dial C For Chocolate. Five children are
} playing across the street from a factory, when they witness
} through an upper-floor window what appears to be a man being
} smothered in a vat of chocolate. The young witnesses are spotted
} by burly security men, and are kidnapped and gotten drunk on
} chocolate liqueurs in order to stage their demise in a crop
} dusting accident.
} However they escape and they stagger around the interior passages
} of the enormous factory. Soon they encounter the owner himself,
} Mister Willy Wonka, who brushes aside their stories of seeing
} foul play and being captured by big cruel men.
} He takes them on a guided tour of his amazing place of business,
} letting the children sample the candy products which have various
} magical effects (flying, belching, etc etc etc). Of particular
} interest to the children are the candies molded in the shapes
} of items - not ordinary shapes like hearts and Santa Clauses,
} but guns and daggers and sharp pointy scissors. Willy notices
} their apprehension, and encourages it as he murmurs "the suspense
} is terrible ... I hope it'll last".
} Meanwhile, details of the children's past are alluded to,
} indicating there is more going on than was evident at first.
} Nasty Veruca Salt, shown in an early scene as making eyes at Mike
} Teevee, is revealed to have had a relationship in the past with
} the impoverished Charlie Bucket, while Charlie's present paramour
} Violet Beauregarde is found to have engaged in an embarrassing
} social-suicide dalliance with fat Augustus Gloop. It is hinted
} that Violet and Veruca may even have designs upon each other,
} while we find that Augustus excuses himself to visit the bathroom
} at an uncommon frequency.
} Soon it emerges that Wonka's intentions are at best mixed. He
} queries the children as to their willingness to fly to Rio to
} spy on some tennis-playing Nazis - competitors in the chocolate
} business, he tells them. He asks them to deposit his $40,000
} in a Rio bank, but they seem unwilling.
} He brings the children into his "aviary", and sure enough, the
} huge room contains chocolate carvings of hundreds of species of
} birds, from wee sparrows to feasome looking hawks and eagles.
} Willy taunts the children by pointing out the five candy
} "lovebirds" in his collection, each with a nametag corresponding
} to one of his guests.
} As they continue their tour, one by one the children mysteriously
} disappear - they black out and when they regain consciousness one
} of them is missing. For example, another room contains replicas
} of skyscrapers, circus trapezes, church bell towers, and mountain
} crests, complete with chocolate figures of people falling to their
} demise. The children find themselves overcome with dizziness at
} this, and run from the room screaming, and after a blackout where
} they communicate with the spirit of a dead woman who they were
} unable to save ("Give me your hand. Give me your hand"), Veruca
} Salt is now gone.
} In another room is a complex of 12 chocolate cabins (all vacant)
} giving the kids the creeps, and soon Violet is missing. Willy
} pooh poohs the disappearance, saying, "Violet isn't quite herself
} Soon, only Charlie is left. Frightened, he blurts out, "they said
} when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What
} are you? Where did you come from? I think you're the cause of
} all this." Willy replies, as he approaches Charlie menacingly,
} "yeah, well, DUH."
} The scene dissolves to the aviary, where we see Willy removing the
} surface features of his face, revealing that he is in actuality
} a man made of chocolate, and what the children had witnessed in
} the factory window had really been him replenishing himself. And
} the five chocolate "lovebirds" are seen now to be animated,
} twittering about together in their cage, doomed for all eternity.
} Wooo. Real scary, eh kids?
} You owe the Oracle a synopsis of Monster Chiller Horror Theater.