} You should be aware that you cannot just hunt down any whale, kill it
} and use it for blubbery muffins. The whales killed by the Japanese end
} up in far inferior meals and snacks, and whaling should be abolished as
} soon as possible.
} The blubber used for blubbery muffins is obtained in a very special
} way. Let me give you the complete recipe:
} Blubbery muffins
} From the Oracular Cookbook, 39th edition.
} INGREDIENTS (200,000 servings):
} 1 whale calf
} 328,500 l milk
} 164,250 kg cane sugar
} 2,920,000 kg lollypops, fudge, toffees and other assorted candy
} 2,080 kg all-purpose flour
} 170 kg baking powder
} 42 kg salt
} 1,700 eggs
} 42 l vanilla extract
} 2000 l milk
} 1. On a moderate fire, slowly warm 450 l of milk. When lukewarm, add
} 225 kg of cane sugar. Stir until dissolved. Feed sugared milk to
} whale calf.
} 2. Repeat step 1 every day for two years.
} 3. Feed whale 1 ton of candy each day, for another eight years.
} 4. Remove blubber from whale.
} 5. Preheat oven at 190 degrees Celcius.
} 6. Grease muffin tins with bit of blubber.
} 7. Beat remaining blubber until soft. Add one egg and a splash of milk
} and stir well. Repeat until all eggs and milk are thoroughly mixed
} with blubber.
} 8. Mix together flour, baking powder and salt. Add to blubber mixture
} and beat firmly.
} 9. Divide batter over muffin tins. Place in oven and bake for 25
} Instead of removing all the blubber at once, which would seriously harm
} the poor whale, you can also have some of it surgically removed. This
} has the added advantages of giving you slightly more practical
} quantities of muffins, which can be useful if you don't have a large