} Hmmm, that question needs some interpretation... Which cute girl do you
} Being omniscient, I of course know that you mean the cute girl who's
} sitting three terminals away from you, playing xconq. Also, I can tell
} you that knowing her first name is a great idea: If you walk up to her
} within the next forty minutes and casually say `Hi, [ first name
} inserted ]', she'll start wondering where she's met you before. This
} will preoccupy her mind to the extent that she won't even notice the
} big, hulky guy from the football team she'll meet in the corridor on her
} way out. She'll continue thinking about you for the next two weeks, and
} she'll end up deeply in love with you. Congratulations!
} If, however, you don't do this, she won't take notice of you and will
} instead fall in love with, marry and bear the eight children of the
} football guy in the corridor.
} So I can understand that you want to know her first name. And of course
} I, the omniscient Oracle, knows it.
} But -
} since you omitted the usual grovelling at the beginning of your question
} (such as `Oh Oracle, whose boots I am not worthy to lick...'), and since
} you omitted a lot of relevant information, such as *which* cute girl of
} all the 734,987,666 cute girls in the world you meant, from your
} question (that cost me two CPU minutes to find out! I really don't like
} smart-alecks like you that rely too heavily on my omniscience. Let me
} state once and for all that *all* relevant *must* be given together with
} the question), you've managed to piss me off quite a bit.
} So, since you apparently feel that I, who really have more important
} things to do [Yes, Lisa, I'll be with you in a few minutes!] should
} spend my valuable time finding out things which you could have told me
} directly instead, I think I'll let you taste your own medicine.
} Here are the names of all the cute girls in the world (734,987,666 of
} them, to be exact). The name you're looking for is among them. You'll
} just have to find it. Good luck!
} You owe the Oracle some more respect.
} ~r cute.girls.first.names
} ========= LIST OF CUTE GIRLS STARTS HERE =================
} Lisa, Alice, Jill, Hetty, Elaine, Caroline, Cathy, Helen, Helga, Anna,
} Gertrude, Elizabeth, Marie,
} [ The rest of this list has been edited out to save your disk quota. It
} will be mailed to you as soon as you've persuaded the system admin-
} istrators to give you 2 Gigabytes more quota.
} What? They won't? Oh, but surely that's your problem, not mine. ]