} It's a widely known fact that real estate agents are in fact full
} of little more than hot air. They require no education, no formal
} training, and if you've ever done tech support for one, no knowledge
} of any kind.
} That said, in terms of real estate, the emptiness of space is
} wholly relative to what you can do with it. While you might find the
} relatively dense area of the termination shock of our solar system
} rather dull to live in, and likely be able to find any number of
} people willing to give it away for free, a 30 cubic foot apartment in
} manhatten with a spectacular view would have infinitely more uses to
} your simian mind, such as bringing dates back to after clubbing them
} over the head. The quoted price would therefore rise dramatically.
} The only reason people are willing to pay the prices asked for it
} is that they can't imagine getting the needs they have to fulfill
} met any other way, and the only reason people sell for the prices
} they have is because people are willing to pay for them. The balance
} between them is all held together by real estate agents who ensure
} that everyone is on the same page.
} So you see, the reason for the high price of real estate is that real
} estate has no price at all. It is artificially inflated according
} to the ebbs and flows of all orders of society, and in all actuality
} may as well be traded in pizza hut tokens.
} Now, what should YOU do about it? I'm glad you asked, supplicant!
} The key to beating the high price of real estate is to open your mind
} to new possibilities. What ARE your needs, really and truly? Presumably
} you require a place to keep your food, a place to clean the filth from
} your body, a point of stability where people can reach you, a place to
} sleep, and a place to keep the junk that you consider important to you.
} The last few needs can be met by acquiring a car. While at first
} glance this might seem to be a purchase even as great as that of
} buying a small house, you must keep in mind that people also hold
} the strange prejudice that cars should actually be able to run,
} and transport you from place to place. Take away this prejudice,
} and you can actually acquire one for a very reasonable price.
} Push it out to an unused portion of the world, unclaimed by the
} money-makers of society, and you have an instant base for which
} to store your body and various trinkets of experience. In order to
} ensure a place where you can clean yourself, this place should also
} be somewhere within walking distance of a large source of water,
} such as a hot spring, stream, river, waterfall, or canal.
} Fulfilling the remainder of your needs can be somewhat tricky. However,
} technology is on your side. Advances in solar power make it cost
} a mere 30 cents per watt to produce, which is even cheaper than
} burning coal. So, simply erect solar powers over your vehicle, and
} suddenly all sorts of options open to you, such as refrigerators,
} laptop computers, and the charging of cell phones.
} So you see, so long as you're willing to be flexible, and consider
} alternate ways to meet your requirements of life, you can in fact
} beat the system erected by the lower life forms around you.
} You owe the oracle a dozen rolls of toilet paper.