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} You do realize to whom you are talking, don't you? I'm the Oracle. The
} ANCIENT Oracle. The Ancient GREEK Oracle. I hail from Delphi and
} Dodona, I was responsible for the height of Hellenic civilization. And
} I do NOT like you diminishing the achievements of an entire people by
} claiming that all Greeks shout when they talk. That is a BLATANT
} stereotype. It is RUDE and UNACCEPTABLE. AND I WILL HAVE NO PART IN
} IT!
}
} To be fair, I do admit to my fair share of shouting. But to understand
} such things, you'd need to see my family around the dinner table when
} I was a child.
}
} * * * * * * * *
}
} Oracle at Delphi: Leftovers for dinner AGAIN?
}
} Oracle at Dodona: What do you WANT from me? I have a job also!
}
} Oracle at Delphi: We've been eating this same sacrificial bull for FOUR
} DAYS.
}
} Oracle at Internet: So, a funny thing happened at Oracle school today.
}
} Oracle at Dodona: I COOK AND CLEAN AND WORK FULL TIME. I don't need
} to HEAR THIS COMPLAINING.
}
} Oracle at Delphi: You call this CLEANING? This PLACE IS A STY!
}
} Oracle at Dodona: I DON'T SEE YOU HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE!
}
} Oracle at Internet: So we were learning about Zotting...
}
} Oracle at Delphi: I HELP AROUND HERE! You just NEVER give me credit
} for MY chores!
}
} Oracle at Dodona: Your CHORES? WHAT CHORES?
}
} Oracle at Delphi: I MOW THE LAWN, TAKE THE TRASH OUT.
}
} Oracle at Dodona: HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE LAWN LATELY? IT'S A JUNGLE!
}
} Oracle at Delphi: I'VE HAD A ROUGH MONTH AT WORK!
}
} Oracle at Internet: ...and the Zotting instructor called me a natural.
} A natural!
}
} Oracle at Dodona: MORE LIKE A ROUGH MONTH AT THE CHARIOT RACES!
}
} Oracle at Delphi: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
}
} Oracle at Dodona: DON'T GIVE ME YOUR INNOCENT FACE! I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN
} SLIPPING OFF TO THE TRACK WITH HERCULES AFTER WORK!
}
} Oracle at Delphi: WHO TOLD YOU THAT? WAS IT EURYSTHEUS?
}
} Oracle at Dodona: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO TOLD ME! WHY DO YOU SPEND YOUR
} TIME BOOZING IT UP WITH FRIENDS INSTEAD OF COMING HOME TO YOUR FAMILY?
}
} Oracle at Internet: ...he said that he expects to see a lot of good
} Zotting from me in my career.
}
} Oracle at Delphi: SURE, BIG SURPRISE I DON'T WANT TO RUSH HOME TO
} REHEATED BULL STEW FOR THE FOURTH NIGHT IN A ROW!
}
} Oracle at Internet: ...he said I might win...
}
} Oracle at Dodona: MAYBE IF YOU BROUGHT HOME SOMETHING OTHER THAN
} SACRIFICIAL ANIMALS!
}
} Oracle at Internet: ...a Zotting award...
}
} Oracle at Delphi: YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FRESH PRODUCE COSTS THESE DAYS?
} THERE'S A DROUGHT GOING ON!
}
} Oracle at Internet: ...at this years Zotting championships.
}
} Oracle at Dodona: SURE, BLAME IT ON SOMETHING ELSE JUST LIKE YOU
} ALWAYS DO. "IT'S THE DROUGHT, IT'S THE ECONOMY, IT'S THE STRESS AT
} WORK."
}
} Oracle at Internet: ****ZOT!!!**** NOW WILL EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP AND
} LISTEN TO ME?
}
} *pause*
}
} Oracle at Delphi: Oh, hey, I didn't even notice you were here.
}
} Oracle at Dodona: Why don't you tell us about your day, sweetie?
}
} Oracle at Delphi: We shout because we love each other.
}
} Oracle at Dodona: Nice Zot, by the way. I'm glad to see how well your
} lessons are progressing.
}
} * * * * * * * *
}
} I can't speak for all Greeks, but I'm pretty sure it's clear why I
} shout all the time.
}
} Oh, and, yes, I used to go by "Oracle at Internet" instead of
} "Internet Oracle." That was the style back then.
}
} You owe the Oracle the phone number of a good therapist.
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![[IO]](https://kinzler.com/picons/db/domains/org/internetoracle/unknown/face.gif){kind=small}
