} If someone doesn't tell Rush Limbaugh to stop encouraging his audience
} to spam the Oracle with ridiculous questions, he's gonna get SUCH a
} Sigh. Okay.
} Miley Cyrus is sixteen years old. She grew up with a father renowned
} for having written the most annoying country song ever. Furthermore,
} he's a KISS fan, which the Oracle is as well, but this is quite
} unseemly and embarrassing when true of a country singer.
} Furtherfurthermore, he likes to dress up and pretend he's a whiny pop
} star. She herself inherited this identity confusion and managed to
} pass it on to a generation of little girls (and occasional little boy),
} who have given the wig industry its first meteoric rise in stocks since
} early American politicians mistakenly thought it made them look
} dignified as opposed to clownish.
} Give her a break, will ya? She has more problems than Michael Jackson,
} even if you include the fact that he's dead.
} But take heart! The moment she releases a workout video, her
} popularity will plummet like a hawk on the wiener of a naked dude lying
} in his backyard for a tan. (Don't do that in hawk territory, by the
} way.) Back when Jane Fonda released hers, Americans were much less fat
} and lazy. Back then, we clung to the hope that exercise will keep us
} thin. Now we realize it's all about eating nothing but meat... until
} our arteries harden and we die, finally attaining that Kate Moss/Johnny
} Depp look everyone dreams about but is too addicted to Big Macs to
} You owe the Oracle a Quarter Pounder with cheese value meal. With a
} Coke. Diet, though. I'm trying to lose a few extra bytes. Still the
} sexiest computer in existence, though.