} Well, it's about time! Sheesh, what were you doing, watching Buffy
} Well, anyway, you're here at last. I'm really glad you agreed to take
} over for a while, Lisa and I have been waiting for this vacation for
} months. Here's the list of what needs to be done... I know you don't
} need it, being omniscent and all, but I find it helps to have something
} to focus on. Lets just go through it quickly, make sure everything
} makes sense...
} Okay, the requests arrive continually of course, but I find it easiest
} to just do a batch every couple of hours, starting at ten. You can
} start a bit earlier of course, since you won't have to cuddle Lisa for
} half the morning. Don't forget to feed Zadoc beforehand, else he'll be
} pestering you half way through.
} I do a stint twice a week writing questions for Jeopardy, but that
} doesn't take up too much time... mostly I just recycle supplicant
} questions after cleaning them up a bit. Don't let any sneak through
} about... well, you know... the creatures with the... tree flesh...
} hurling... else we'll have another global memory-altering incident like
} in nineteen eighty five. The priests were working doubletime on that
} one, I don't have to tell you, eh? Eh? Hehehehe.
} If there's an invasion of the... er, you know... aforementioned
} creatures... just pull this cord here. I had this installed after last
} time. It pulls up the drawbridge over the lava moat, and puts the
} automatic gun turrets online around the walls. The system tests were
} very successful, although we have to had a priest recruitment drive.
} You might want to consider sending out a message on the PA system
} before turning it on.
} Anyway, that's about it, really.
} Oh, before I forget... heh... here's the master Zot stick, you'll need
} that, here's the password to the main inbox, see you in a lifetime!
} Run, Lisa, quickly! Before he catches on! Free, we're free!