} Well, I can understand why! Coming up the front steps, you trod upon
} the Secret Step of Serendipity which is, of course, booby-trapped.
} The explosion hurled you up onto the Mezzanine of Mediocrity, which is
} when the unemployed politicians jumped you. As the Temple Guards
} tried to intervene, somebody opened the cage of the Lustrous Lion. It
} turned up its nose at the ex-politicians and attacked the Guards
} instead, preventing them from helping you. In the meantime, your
} captors were hustling your slightly burned body into the Den of
} Donations, where they stole your wallet. Dazed and confused, you
} wandered out of there into the Hallway of Hysteria, where you
} apparently had some kind of fit. A passing maid found you and dragged
} you into the Foyer of Fantastic Beasts. Normally, that would have
} been a fine place for you to recover, but unfortunately, the smoke
} rising from your smoldering clothing confused the Phoenix, which
} spontaneously combusted, thereby setting fire to the Portcullis of
} Prosperity. When the ropes burned through, the portcullis crashed to
} the ground, spilling the day's donations across the floor and
} startling the Unicorn of Ubiquity, which started running around so
} fast it appeared to be everywhere at once. At some point, it scooped
} you up with its horn and hurled you through the doorway into the
} Atrium of Audience, where I happened to be, listening to supplicants.
} I quickly revived you with my patented facial cream, not available in
} any store, but available to you right now for the low, low price of
} only $49.99 per tube. But wait, there's more! If you order right
} now, I'll also throw in a Ronco Turnip Twaddler for free! That's
} right, free!
} You don't owe the Oracle anything. Just lie back, and repeat this
} soothing mantra: "I will not sue. I will become the Oracle's
} downline. I will not sue. I will become the Oracle's downline....."