> There were these two farmers, Jake and Olle. Jake says to Olle, "So
> how are you at math? I need to know something about how to calculate
> for my farm."
> Olle replies, "well, I might know a bit. What's the problem?"
> "It's solar insolation. I was thinking I needed to understand the flux
> density so I could put up some electric panels. I got all confused
> when the fellow at the farm store said I could get 24 square kilowatts
> from the panel he was selling."
> "Well, Jake, he's an idiot. There is no such thing as square
> kilowatts. I'll bet he thinks that we farmers are ignorant. Iowa
> State's got more than just corn. My thesis was the net energy output
> of Barnard's Star, but I was really majoring in geophysics, not
> "Oh, I know square kilowatts is wrong. What I was hoping was that we
> could sell him a computer program that would compute them for him.
> It'd be a simple matter of programming, an SMP. But you don't have
> continuity of functions on a computer, because the mathematics is
> really all those scaled integers they call floating point."
> "Ah yes, Jake, Floating Point. My girl Hulda and I used to go out
> there and swim naked at night, just like our grandparents did back in
> Sweden. 'Olle,' she would say, 'Olle, when are we gonna get married?'
> Well, I told her there was an Oracle who would answer that question.
> She screamed, and jumped in and swam, still naked, to Integer Isle. I
> never saw her again."
> "Olle, let's get back to the topic at hand. How can we make the
> program look like it's working, even when it's just a fake?"
> So Orrie, I have TWO questions for you here.
> 1. What sort of program should Olle and Jake write? How best to fool
> the foolish salesbeast into buying it?
> 2. Whatever happened to Hulda?