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Internet Oracularities #1529

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1529, 1529-01, 1529-02, 1529-03, 1529-04, 1529-05, 1529-06, 1529-07, 1529-08, 1529-09, 1529-10


Internet Oracularities #1529    (14 votes, 3.1 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 07:39:05 -0500 (EST)

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Let us know what you like!  Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities
on an integer scale of 1 ("very bad") to 5 ("very good") with the
volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to
this message).  For example:
   1529
   2 1 3 4 3   5 3 3 4 1

1529  14 votes 14324 11552 04451 42620 02741 22334 22370 03353 14531 25430
1529  3.1 mean  3.3   3.4   3.2   2.4   3.3   3.4   3.1   3.6   2.9   2.6


1529-01    (14324 dist, 3.3 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> ERROR 404: SUPPLICANT NOT FOUND

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Oh where, oh where has my Supplicant gone.
} Oh where, oh where can he be?
} With his question cut short and his words made tall,
} Oh where, oh where can he be.
}
} You owe the Oracle a search party.  I'm sure he'll turn up eventually;
} he always does.


1529-02    (11552 dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: "Klone (aka Daniel V. Klein) " <dvk@lonewolf.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> "The Oracle has pondered your question deeply."  Have you ever
> pondered my question shallowly?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Generally not. Occasionally an out-of-control incarnation may make it
} seem that way. Sometimes, though, shallowness is deliberate.
}
} Because you ask, here's a shallow answer: "Duhhh?"
}
} As you can see, it hurts my head to give that kind of answer,
} especially as it appears to question itself. Still, that's what some
} supplicants need, and it's what they'll get, as I lie to them about the
} depth of my pondering.
}
} Duhhh.
}
} You owe the Oracle the fall of a great empire and a clear explanation
} of Zen.


1529-03    (04451 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: Ian Davis

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Geek Alphabet time. There is the letter Lambda, used in math and for
> writing about Lambs.
>
> What about the letter Krambda, used for spelling the name of Ralph
> Kramden? Tell me more.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} As an Alpha-male, the Oracle uses Zota, causing the Idiota supplicants
} to Psi themselves.


1529-04    (42620 dist, 2.4 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Say that again?


1529-05    (02741 dist, 3.3 mean)
Selected-By: "Klone (aka Daniel V. Klein) " <dvk@lonewolf.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Back in 1952 they promised me a future with:
> - Rockets to the moon
> - Check! We went there. Still waiting for more.
> - A helicopter in every garage
> - We're still waiting.
> - Rocket backpacks
> - Check! Someone in the military made one work, I think.
> - ATOMIC POWERED CARS
> - waiting, waiting, waiting.
>
> I want my atomic powered car! I was thinking development of thorium
> reactors might be the right way.
>
> Please tell me how to get my atomic-powered car. Putting a Ford Edsel
> inside a "test excursion of a nuclear device" at the Nevada Test Site
> in 1959 does not count, even if you have the time-travel ability to do
> that, which I suspect you do. Or at least you know how to, along with
> everything else you know.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Well, that's easy.  All you need to do is to buy one of the surplus
} war ships the Russian navy has laid up in Murmansk, put wheels on it,
} and you will be set to go.
}
} You owe the Oracle a way to get the DMV to approve this.  And a way to
} get fuel without having the NSA show up at my door.


1529-06    (22334 dist, 3.4 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> sudo oracle

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Ow!  Oh yeah?  Well, ROUNDHOUSE SUPPLICANT!
}
} (Well, it certainly works for Chuck Norris.)


1529-07    (22370 dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I have a difficult time reading you sometimes.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} .dya as cealr aer ealxtinanpos my taht tinkh presollaany I Ryllea?
} A godo kybaored you oew teh Ocrale.


1529-08    (03353 dist, 3.6 mean)
Selected-By: Dave <lightinchains@gmail.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Is it about that time for another rash of good luck that I used to
> enjoy as a beginner?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} If your good luck gave you a rash, then you probably got lucky with
} the wrong partner.
}
} You owe both of you a trip to the doctor.


1529-09    (14531 dist, 2.9 mean)
Selected-By: Ian Davis

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Forgive me Oracle, for I have sinned.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Ego te abzotto.


1529-10    (25430 dist, 2.6 mean)
Selected-By: "Lawrence, Mark" <lawrence.4@osu.edu>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> My laguage having letter not in other alhpabet, like this one   and
> this one   that are not in anything on any body computer. As you can
> see you can't see. Not knowing howput in computer. Yuo know so much you
> tell me. Also other letter that you can't see neither like    and    so
> you can tell they are difficult. I telling you not want to hear me
> pronounce them sound like spit in yourear.
>
> Thankyou wonderfully Oracle youare so good.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Just do these steps. (for your convenience & also to show you it
} actually works I have written the steps in your language. Hope you can
} see them in your machine)


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