} That's awfully nice of you, but I've been feeling kind of awful lately
} and honestly I don't know why I do this any more, so it's not really
} accurate. You wouldn't happen to have any of those horrible VCR-tape
} thingies, would you? ...nah, thought not.
} Sorry to burst your little bubble of hope for the universe, man
} (and/or woman and/or indeterminate thing/creature/robot/ace of
} spades/animate pumpkin), but I'm afraid this is just the way it is.
} The Universe hates me. I hate the Universe. Who had to go and create
} the place anyway? Whoever they are, I'd like to find them and give
} them a good kick in the rear for inventing me along with it, because
} it's OBVIOUSLY ALL THEIR FAULT. I'd feel so much better if I wasn't
} invented by a madman with a talent for disorganization. Thanks, "god."
} I need a drink.
} You owe the Oracle one of those neat DIY "Bring About The Apocalypse
} In Your Basement" kits and a twelve-step plan for self-improvement,
} followed by an appointment with your psychiatrist. Oh, and a glass of