Selected-By: Dave <firstname.lastname@example.org>
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
> Oops, wrong number. Ex-wife says I now need thirty (30) reasons.
> As I asked you just a few minutes ago:
> > Please give me 20 reasons for me to oppose Donald Trump. I really
> > like the guy, and want to vote for him, but my fat ex-wife says I am
> > an idiot. I need to stay on her good side, though, because of, well,
> > you know.
> > Anyway, what are the best reasons I can tell her? They don't have to
> > be supportable, just sound good to her. She says he is even a bigger
> > idiot than me, which is stupid because I could never just stand up
> > and talk like he does. He doesn't even need a teleprompter. I couldn't
> > even talk my way out of a garbage wagon without a teleprompter. Or
> > with one.
> > So what can I say?
> Oh, and thank you for being such a good sport about this. I know how
> wearing stupid requests are when you get them. My ex-wife schooled me
> well, and continues to do so. Double sheesh. (Oh, and if you have any
> clue for "how to understand women" don't keep it to yourself. Thousands
> of men out there are desperate for the answer. Not just thousands.
> Millions. Or more.)
} So you want me to slim my "List of reasons to oppose Trump" down to
} just thirty.
} Normally an impossible task, but that's what the Internet Oracle is for.
} So without further ado:
} 1. He's an even bigger idiot than you.
} 2. Couldn't talk his way out of a garbage can.
} 3. Even with a teleprompter.
} 4. Says the first drivel that comes to his head.
} 5. Seems obsessed with hitting political opponents. It's not boxing,
} 6. No previous experience in politics. You don't become president
} without being a mayor or congressman or senator first.
} 7. Stupid ass hairpiece.
} 8. Stupid ass hair.
} 9. Stupid ass.
} 10. Takes disagreements personally.
} 11. Driven entirely by profits.
} 12. Would nuke somewhere if he thought there's profit in it. (Probably.)
} 13. Doesn't give a damn about the 1st amendment.
} 14. He doesn't even seem aware that it exists.
} 15. Doesn't know how many articles the constitution has.
} 16. I don't think he's ever read the constitution.
} 17. I don't think he's ever read a book.
} 18. Not even The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
} 19. I don't think he can even read.
} 20. Not even a teleprompter. Because if he could he'd stay on topic
} 21. He's consistently disrespectful to veterans.
} 22. He's being sued for fraud.
} 23. He says he has good relations with Vladimir Putin.
} 24. He'd be happy to allow Russian imperialist expansion.
} 25. He think "working very, very hard" counts as a sacrifice.
} 26. He doesn't understand sacrifice.
} 27. He doesn't understand how walls work.
} 28. He doesn't understand how to be diplomatic.
} 29. He doesn't understand his own plans, and keeps changing them.
} 30. He doesn't understand women.
} I don't have any record on "how to understand women". I can help you
} understand "wisteria", however: it's a purple-ish climbing plant,
} related to peas.
} You owe the oracle 40 reasons to oppose Clinton, and an essay on how to
} understand men.
Vote: (very bad)
5 (very good)