} Not a sexy young actress. Not in this lifetime, anyway.
} The last time Shirley stole the body of a sexy young actress was
} seventy some years ago, back when she was not Shirley, rather, her
} previous life form Priscilla Boobzwiggle, an expert in the occult, and
} personal friend of Mae West. Knowing Mae wanted to break into the
} film industry, and knowing Mae's high moral standards would not permit
} her sleeping her way to the top, Prissy, plain as unflavored gelatine,
} yet horny as a crazed weasel in heat, saw a perfect opportunity to
} have a hot body, get famous, make lots of money and lay as many men as
} could fit inside her at once. A well-cast spell was all it took, and
} Prissy assumed the body of Mae West, and went on to become the eternal
} movie slut of the early twentieth century. The real Mae West,
} assuming the body of Prissy, went on to become a nun in a local
} convent, got caught screwing an altar boy six years later, and was
} subsequently banished from the Church.
} Since Shirley (in this lifetime) has been suffering from a lack of
} publicity lately, she has taken it upon herself to gain popularity by
} stealing the body of a sexy young actor, who's movie career had been
} in some sort of resurgence. She unwittingly swapped bodies with
} Richard Gere, a tragic mistake, since at precisely that time, he was
} face down in a hospital emergency room while the remnants of a "Stupid
} Pet Trick" were being removed from his rectum. Needless to say,
} Shirley's career seems to have taken a turn for the worst.
} This is not to say the consciousness of Richard Gere has gotten away
} scott-free. Rumor has it that every time Richard (in the body of
} Shirley) walks into a pet store, all the rodents start barking like
} You owe the Oracle a Habitrail.