} Dear Sir or Ma'am:
} Thank you for your lovely letter. Naturally, as a net.goddess, I am
} very busy and receive huge quantities of mail, and only rarely have
} time to give it the personal attention it deserves. Your letter,
} however, touched me so deeply that I must make an exception in this
} I am sincerely flattered that you admire my suppleness so much. I
} do my best, and it's nice to know that I'm not wasting my efforts.
} As for your question: I find that when I practice my suppleness,
} all my problems just seem to fade away. You should try it yourself,
} I'm sure it would help! And to assist you, I have a complete set of
} stretching and limbering exercises coming out in my new book "Square
} Knots Are Too Easy: Suppleness The Barbara Way", which will be
} available soon at a bookstore near you for just $19.95.
} Once again, thank you for your letter, and don't forget to try
} suppleness. It really works!
} Yours Sincerely,
} Barbara, the net.sex.goddess
} Hmm. Too bad, kiddo. Looks like she sent you a form letter. I
} sympathize; I remember when I was a kid and I sent a letter off to my
} favorite philosopher, Socrates, and he brushed me off. I got a form
} letter that said he couldn't answer all of his fan mail because he'd
} been imprisoned. Feh.
} Maybe you should reconsider which net.goddess you want to give your
} affections to, and pick one that doesn't get so much mail she needs to
} send form letters. I know, for instance, that Georgette, the
} net.transsexual.goddess, has a lot of free time.