} There's no English word for it, nor can I transliterate their language's
} name via a computer keyboard. They communicate almost entirely by
} sniffing crotches, you see. (Many people incorrectly believe them to
} communicate by barking, but this is clearly false--in fact, a number of
} breeds, including basenjis, never bark at all. Barking is simply an
} extra form of communication, much like facial expressions in humans.)
} It would be almost impossible to describe their language's grammar or
} structure, since it is one of the most unstructured and freeform
} languages ever devised by intelligent creatures. To give you a feel for
} what a dog's world is like, the following is an attempt to translate one
} of the works of the single greatest dog poet of all time, Husky, who
} lived in the Bronx and marked this poem on a fire hydrant in 1932:
} Shit wow wow wag wag wag!
} Meat human heat bitch fuck!
} Warm pat scratch eat eat eat!
} Kill flea!
} Kill car!
} Kill DUCK!
} Now, a dog, reading this poem, wouldn't see a string of words in any
} particular order; he'd sense all of it at once, and understand the poem
} not as a story, but as an observation of a single moment in time. This
} particular poem is about a day when Husky was stuck inside, and gazed
} out the window at the other dogs, watching them play, and remembering a
} long-ago day in the park, when he'd taken (and rolled in) a particularly
} satisfying dump.
} I'm sorry I can't teach you more about the language, for it's a
} fascinating one. But I hope I've given you a greater respect for the
} canine kingdom.
} You owe the Oracle a box of Bonz and a scratch behind the left ear.