} Ssh! Don't say that too loudly. I ran across this story while doing
} some hacking in military computers:
} Five year old Joey Weibermann, while playing in the pasture of his
} parent's Indiana farm, makes an amazing discovery! By combining pasta
} and antipasto, there is an immense explosion as matter hits antimatter.
} Cullinary demolitions experts were brought in, determined the cause of
} the disaster, but it leaked to the USSR, which immediately launched tons
} of pasta into space, on a trajectory with Boston, Massachusetts.
} Following this was another ton of antipasto, and it looked as if all of
} New England was doomed as one glop was about to hit another. But all
} that happened was that both loads glopped into the Charles River,
} harmless compared to the pollution already present.
} It was then that it was discovered - antipasto ends with an "o", not an
} And the gastronomical race was on! (also known as the Stuff Yer Face
} CIA and KGB cooks on opposite sides of the globe worked feverishly
} around the clock to unlock the secret of "antipasta". Using cyclotrons,
} photon cannons, cuisinarts, and other common farm implements that may
} have been available to Joey, they tried to reproduce the missing "a".
} Fortunately, both sides have long given up. But I have done an
} extensive personality run-down on the young Joey (mostly by accessing
} FBI files) and know that for one thing, he was prone to devouring his
} own earwax, something neither agency thought of (nor should we tell
} them)! You can do the physics equations for yourself (Hint: George
} Washington Carver documented much the same process with peanuts).
} You owe the Oracle a crate of antipasta (magnetically suspended in