} The question is moot.
} The key phrase here is "IF a woodchuck...." Since woodchucks can't
} and never will be able to chuck wood (I have consulted my _Small and
} Furry Creatures Handbook_), this question is rhetorical and therefore
} needs no answer.
} I can however give you the answer to the question "How much wood could
} a Beaver chuck if a Beaver could chuck wood?"
} One day Wally came home from school early. "Wally!" shouted June
} Cleaver. "Whatever are you doing home early from school?"
} "Gee, mom," replied Wally. "Miss Landers caught the Beave chucking wood
} and sent me home to tell you to come and get him."
} "Well, Wally, why didn't Miss Landers just call me on the phone?"
} "Well, mom, she would have, but he chucked the telephone pole on the
} corner and there's no phone service for this whole block!"
} June went to pick up the Beaver, when Ward got home from work he gave
} him the customary talk, and Beaver went to bed after taking a bath to
} get rid of all the wood chips in his hair. "June," asked Ward when
} the kids were safely asleep, "just how much wood DID the Beaver
} chuck anyway?"
} "Well, dear, he chucked half the desks in Miss Landers' classroom,
} the bleachers at the high school, and a telephone pole before he ran
} out of steam."
} "That's our Beaver!"
} You owe the oracle one number 2 pencil.