} The Usenet Oracle, in his infinite wisdom, has gone into the future to
} steal some movie reviews on 'Ozma does Oxford.'
} OZMA DOES OXFORD
} a story about a girl with an attitude...and a preference
} Chicago Tribune - "'Ozma does Oxford' is a _magnificent_ film. Never
} has this critic seen the likes of Telly Savalas, Joan Rivers, Meryl
} Streep, and Ethel Barrymore make such magic on the screen! A must-see
} for all those who like sodomy with their Wheaties in the morning."
} L. A. Times - "If I had to see a film over and over again for
} eternity, I would choose without hesitation 'Ozma does Oxford'. A
} classic film about Ozma, a textile engineer with three personalities,
} and her craving for Yuppie clothes, 'O.d.O.' is truly ranked up there
} with the greats. If for no other reason, I enjoyed the film's
} alacrity, humor, and fine taste in men's wear. A must see for lonely
} Yuppies and women with no self-respect; it'll give 'em someone to
} relate to."
} N. Y. Times - "This year's erotic thriller, 'Ozma does Oxford', is as
} enchanting as it is witty and hilarious. The scene where Ozma shoves
} her lover's ding-dong into a blender steals the show. Still, one
} can't help but love her as she shackles him naked to a freight train
} and sets his hair on fire. Ozma (played by Meryl Streep) is both
} lovable and repulsive, but it stands without question that her taste
} in men's wear is definitely a cut above. A must-see for
} nymphomaniacs and male gynecologists with strong stomachs. ***"
} National Enquirer - "Miracle Baby born with no legs but has infinite
} sex drive after watching 'Ozma does Oxford'. Oddly, family dog soon
} becomes pregnant with alien religious fanatics. Story, page 13."
} Gallup Independent - "Yea, 'Ozma does Oxford' is a cool movie and all,
} but I just have one question - what's the plot?"
} Phoenix Sun - "If family values and excellent visual effects are what
} you look for in a movie, then watch out; 'Ozma does Oxford' has none of
} these qualities whatsoever. A truly repulsive movie about a mad girl's
} obsessive attitude towards polo shirts and twill blazers, 'O.d.O.'
} attempts in vain to hold its viewers with lurid sex scenes and
} pornographic pain. Why, I had to watch the movie 16 times just to get
} it all in! As disgusting and gut-wrenching as it is, 'O.d.O.' is a
} must-see for the Usenet Oracle, whose e-mail nausea has permeated the
} majority of the nation and has decayed what little morals we had left
} anyhow. He deserves to suffer."
} You owe the Oracle that last reviewer's home address.