} Ah, I perceive you are a bit nervous, shy one. Let me relax you with
} a story.
} One fine spring day a young girl wearing a yellow summer frock was
} walking her cocker spaniel through Hyde Park in London. Suddenly her
} little dog saw a cat in the distance and, slipping its leash, went
} dashing down the path in pursuit. "Oh help me, help me!" cried the
} little girl. "My dog is running away! Somebody save my dog!" An old
} gentleman in tweed heard the girl's cry, and with surprising agility
} intercepted the spaniel, which he caught and returned to the girl.
} "Oh thank you sir! Thank you ever so much for saving my dog," said
} the little girl, tears streaming down her face. "I don't know what I
} would do without him. Oh, how can I ever repay you?"
} "There there, don't cry little girl," said the man, "You needn't repay
} me I assure you, it was my pleasure entirely. Not to worry. Tell me
} little girl, what's your name?"
} "My name? My name is ... Rose Petal."
} "Rose Petal..." repeated the man dreamily. "Why, that is the most
} beautiful name I have ever heard. Tell me ... Rose Petal, how did
} you ever get such a beautiful name?"
} "Well, one day long ago, when I was a very, very little girl, I was
} lying in my crib and the window was open, and a breeze blew in, and a
} and a single rose petal floated down and landed on my tummy. And when
} nanny came in and saw the rose petal on my tummy, she thought it was
} the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and she went to get mummy,
} and soon mummy and daddy and everybody were standing around my crib,
} and there I was with the single rose petal on my tummy, and they all
} thought it was so beautiful, and ever since that day I have been
} called ... Rose Petal."
} "Oh my ... why ... that is the most beautifal story I have ever heard
} in all my life," replied the man, deeply moved. "Tell me ... Rose
} Petal, what's your dog's name?"
} "My dog? Why, my dog is called Piggie."
} "Piggie? Why, that's an odd name for a dog. How did your dog come to
} be called Piggie?"
} "He fucks pigs."