} As you pointed out, I'm an entity of awesome virility, and I will of
} course dig deep into the abundance of experience I've gathered over the
} years at wild parties and in the back of limousines, in order to give
} you an answer that will satisfy you.
} The implants work, and very well at that, and more on that subject will
} follow, but first I would like to discuss how to avoid getting in a
} situation where you need them.
} Ok then, so why does a man need an implant?
} Basically there are two reasons :
} * You haven't done your daily 'genital-push-ups', and you consequently
} are out of training.
} * Your imagination isn't dirty enough!
} If you're out of training, everything's OK, a little training and you're
} Otherwise there are two possibilities:
} * You're religious.
} * You've never experienced anything dirty to fantasize about.
} If you're religious you don't bother anyway, otherwise there are two
} * You're 10 years old.
} * You're shy.
} If you're 10 years old you shouldn't worry, your time will come son,
} otherwise I will give you some examples on how to overcome your shyness.
} * I know of people, friends of mine as a matter of fact, who have
} overcome their shyness by exhibitionism! Do *It* in a public place,
} e.g. a restaurant, a public library, your driveway etc. (PLEASE NOTE:
} Policestations are TOO public!)
} * Play any 2-Live-Crew album to your grandma.
} * Get a role-model, e.g. Larry Hagman, Sylvester Stallone, Roseanne
} Barr. These are people who have overcome their shyness, and they now
} enrichen the world with their talent.
} These tips should make the implants redundant, but we will now discuss
} different types of implants.
} * String-implants
} The name doesn't, as it implies, mean that you look like a hunk of a
} man in a G-string, it refers to the way the implant operates.
} * Magnetic-implants
} This actually requires an operation on both of you, but it has been
} known to raise the attraction in a relationship.
} * Silicon-implants
} These are fully operational at a 24-hour basis, and I'm afraid that
} you will have to buy the new Jockey 'SteelCrotch'tm line of underwear
} in the future.
} You owe the oracle a vasectomy.