} Let me see... Grateful Dead following some guy... I could swear I saw
} something about that just a few millenium ago. Where did I put that
} note...(shuffle,shuffle,mumble)... ah, here it is.
} Hmmm... this is mighty curious. The Grateful Dead, of course, are
} simply the latest incarnation of Thankful Deceased, who in a prior life
} were the Appreciative Defunct, and before that Gratified Departed, the
} Beholden Demised, and way way back when man still thought using Roman
} numerials was a neat idea, the Not-Quite-Unhappy Gone-But-Not-Forgotten
} (this predates even "American Beauty", although not by much). The
} N-Q-U G-B-N-F were, of course, the first true rock band... beating out
} the Rotating Boulders and the Jefferson Pterodactyl by a few years.
} The curious part is that YOU are the current reincarnation of the part
} of Jerry Garcia, and the current Jerry Garcia is a reincarnation of a
} past "Defunct-head". In fact, all the members of the Grateful Dead are
} former "Defunct-heads", "Demised-heads", and "Gone-But-Not-Forgotten-
} heads"; you and five other individuals whose spirits contain the REAL
} essence of the original group are doomed to be forever followed by
} these incarnations of your past fans. And, of course, all the rest of
} the current "Deadheads" have no choice but to blindly follow (most being
} incarnations of lemmings).
} A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Do NOT, repeat DO NOT, try to contact the other
} five incarnations of the true band. I am not at liberty to elaborate on
} this point, except to say that a lot of effort and planning at the most
} high levels of the Cosmos was put into breaking the group up. If you
} six should ever meet, it could be the end of mortal existance as you
} know it today. (This has almost happened once before, during the Disco
} era, but everyone was too far gone to notice).
} Oh, that thing your Aunt gave you that keeps coming back is just the
} reincarnation of the stage crew... you are doomed to keep that too.
} Put it in a small box underneath a bowl of petunias, never feed it
} after midnight, and keep it away from small children...
} You owe the Oracle a copy of "Blues For Allah" on CD and three naked
} female teenage "Deadheads".