[IO]
Internet Oracle
25 Sep 2017 home : about : create : digests : bestofs : specials : priests 0:57:15 GMT

Internet Oracularities #239

Goto:
239, 239-01, 239-02, 239-03, 239-04, 239-05, 239-06, 239-07, 239-08, 239-09, 239-10


Usenet Oracularities #239    (22 votes, 3.1 mean)
Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler <kinzler@cs.indiana.edu>
Date: Tue, 4 Dec 90 14:16:34 -0500

!!! The Usenet Oracle has received honorable mention in the upcoming
!!! rec.humor.funny original comedy awards.  Also, selections from each
!!! of the Best of the Usenet Oracularities volumes have been published
!!! in this year's rec.humor.funny jokebook.

To find out how to participate in the Usenet Oracle, send mail to:
   oracle@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu or {ames,rutgers}!iuvax!oracle
with the word "help" in the subject line.  Let us know what you like!
Send your ratings of these Oracularities on a scale of 1 = "not funny"
to 5 = "very funny" with the volume number to oracle-vote on iuvax, eg:
   200
   2 1 3 4 3 5 3 3 4 1

239   22 votes a5313 4a512 17653 03883 15763 32a34 16753 24673 43a32 04288
239   3.1 mean  2.2   2.4   3.1   3.5   3.2   3.1   3.1   3.2   2.8   3.9


239-01    (a5313 dist, 2.2 mean)
Selected-By: jhm@ebay.sun.com ( The Lion of Symmetry )

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Where did all the lobsters go?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Whale, after the latest election, the Grunion are running Atlantis.
} The Lobsters, to celebrate the victory, are out getting sauced.


239-02    (4a512 dist, 2.4 mean)
Selected-By: jhm@ebay.sun.com ( The Lion of Symmetry )

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Can anyone explain why the Suez Crisis sloped off to the pictures last
> night, instead of staying in the history books?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}       If anybody could explain it, you wouldn't need the Oracle, now,
} would you?  Realizing this, you should speak in terms or greater
} endearment instead of just huffily stating your question as if you were
} pissing the letters into the snow.
}
}       But seeing as this is a problem concerning many tens, if not
} hundreds of bio units on the face of the planet today, the Oracle (hi,
} Mom!) will deign to answer:
}
}       Deep in the heart of the Arab Peninsula, in the region known as
} the Empty Quarter, there once was a splendid forest, a veritable magic
} kingdom where saber-toothed tigers and wooly mammoths cavorted as man
} swung down from the trees in his first faltering steps on the path to
} Dominant Species status.
}
}       The golden age came to an end as described by Emmanuel Velikovsky
} in his famed _Worlds In Collision_ (1950) and _Earth In Upheaval_
} (1953).  Venus, having erupted from the Red Spot on Jupiter, came
} rolling through Earth's orbit like a gutter ball, causing the African
} Fracture and the emergence of the Rocky Mountains.
}
}       What Velikovsky did *not* understand was that, in addition to the
} disruption of Earth's graviational structure inherent in this cosmic
} misadventure, there was a carroming effect upon Earth's temporal fields,
} which are centered in that region of the planet most affected by the
} passing-by of Venus, that is, the Empty Quarter.
}
}       Periodically, standing temporal waves erupt from the empty
} Quarter, causing juxtaposition of the personalities of historical
} personages and drawing them to the Empty Quarter like an asteroid
} barrelling over the event horizon into a black hole.
}
}       One such eruption occured in the year 90 C.E., when Vespasian and
} his son Titus invested Jersulem, whereas their intent had actually been
} to head down to Parma for a ravioli dinner.  You see, Nero's personality
} had been overlaid by the personality of Nebuchadnezzar by the force of
} the temporal waves emanating from a temporal eruption of the Empty
} Quarter.  The results were disasterous for Nero; rebellion broke out as
} Rome was vacated by the legions marching to the East, and Nero was
} overthrown.  Vespasian was shortly crowned Caesar.
}
}       In the 1950's, the British leadership were drawn in like fashion
} to adventurism in the East by the force of the temporal waves.  The
} result was the brain drain, the drop of the British pound sterling, and
} the dwindling of the significance of the Empire upon which the sun never
} set; never, that is, until the insidious radiations of the temporal
} waves overlaid the British command with the personality of Crassus.
}
}       And now, in our time, the shimmering effulgence of that ancient
} cosmic catastrophe arise again, and draw yet another figure to his fate
} ...  for George Bush's personality has been overlaid with personality of
} George III.  Witness his unwillingness to consult with Congress; his
} assertion that in him resides the power supreme to confer only with his
} conscience before marching the nation off to World War III; his
} willingness to cloak what is essentially an economic venture in the
} vestiture of a high moral cause.
}
}       This will happen again and again until humanity wises up,
} strip-mines the Empty Quarter of the Arab peninsula down to the bedrock,
} and opens up a Disney Theme Park named "Qaba'a Land" on the site of
} Mecca.
}
}       You owe the Oracle an illustrated copy of the unexpurgated _1000
} Nights_, a flying carpet, and a hookah full of Lebanese blond.


239-03    (17653 dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: jhm@ebay.sun.com ( The Lion of Symmetry )

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> I've got some wires crossed somewhere.  Every now and again --
>
> "Gazer, quick, cover my port wing."
> "Gotcha, Stormbird."
> "Okay, I'm moving in.  Starmouse, see if you can't mist those Iraqis."
> "Yo, sure, Hotshot."
> "I'M HIT!  I'M HIT! --"
>
> -- I get random flashes of alternative realities.  It is most
> annoying, especially when I'm trying to concentrate on Dullo's lectures.
> It's affect--
>
> "Doctor Sandy, Doctor Sandy, please go to O R 8 immediately please."
>
> --ing my social life, and recently, the most attractive--
>
> rocked by the biggest
>  earthquake in its history.  No formal estimate of the damage has been
>  made as yet, but it is widely believed to be in the billions of
>  dollars.  Tens of thousands are believed to have been killed in the
>  worst natural disaster in United States history --"
>
> --woman I have ever seen walked out of my house and out of my life
> when I suddenly started raving about the voyages of the USS Enterprise
> in the middle of a deep and --
>
> "Flight 29 has been delayed thirty minutes--"
>
> --meaningful discussion.  Please help, I don't know how much longer
> I can stand this.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Powers That Be are giving you a chance to live a different life.
} Choose one of the alternative realities as you experience it, make a
} conscious decision to stay there, and you will.  Be sure that you choose
} wisely, because once you choose one in this way, you can never return.
}
} You have a latent desire to be a woman, the Oracle knows.  The "Doctor
} Sandy" reality would have had you as a beautiful young nurse, full of
} energy and charm, with big tits.  The "Flight 29" reality would have had
} you as a 45-year-old stewardess, straining to look youthful through lots
} of plastic surgery and makeup.  So you see that your choice is
} important.
}
} But go ahead and choose quickly, because if you don't the glimpses into
} other realities will come faster and faster and faster and briefer and
} briefer and briefer, and finally in desperation you will choose one
} anyhow, and because it was such a brief glimpse you'll probably choose a
} bad one, such as one in which there has been an earthquake and you are
} dying slowly for lack of medical attention.
}
} If the Oracle were you, It would choose a young-nurse-with-big-tits
} reality, unless you want to fight your perverse inclination to become
} female.


239-04    (03883 dist, 3.5 mean)
Selected-By: Rt. Hon. Jim Hacker, P.M. <jim@oasis.icl.stc.co.uk>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O most discerning Oracle, tell me if you will (for I know it is
> well within your ability to do so), why is it that we become tired
> and need to sleep?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} A question that has eluded Science until recently, is now made
} crystal clear to you by the Usenet Oracle!
}
} As you go about your duties during the day, you ingest from the
} air tiny microbes called Narcoids. It is impossible to avoid them;
} they can get through filtration systems and masks, and even find
} their way into the sterile air supply taken up on the space shuttle.
}
} You can decrease, although never eliminate, your absorption of
} Narcoids by breathing through your nose instead of your mouth. The
} nose hairs tend to capture a goodly percentage, and keep them out
} of your innards. That's what nose boogers are, you know, great dried
} coral reefs of Narcoids. Have you ever noticed that people rarely
} pick their noses while they are asleep? It was this correlation that
} first put Science on the trail of these mysterious little creatures.
} Oh, by the way, never eat your boogers, or you'll nod right off.
}
} These Narcoids multiply slowly, only once every hour or two, but
} eventually they manage to clog up your bloodstream and various
} body organs. The rate is increased by the ingestion of substances
} they find healthful, such as alcohol, and especially the class of
} drugs called Narcotics, which they absolutely dote upon. Sex also
} seems to increase their presence in your body, probably because of
} the careless manner in which you breathe during such activities,
} allowing you to suck in vast quantities of the little fellows.
}
} Naturally, as your vital organs become engorged with Narcoids (ever
} notice the gooey stuff inside of people's organs, and its resemblance
} to snot? Another clue for the scientists) their efficiency drops off
} and eventually you lose consciousness. But Nature, in her grand
} design, made allowance for this. The organs expel the Narcoids
} toward your throat, and your throat muscles chop the little creatures
} into even tinier pieces so that they are dead dead dead and the parts
} can be disposed of in various ways. That's what the snoring sound is,
} the chopping process. After that is finished, you can wake up. (Ever
} notice that most people don't snore when they are awake? Now you
} know why.)
}
} When you finally wake up, you usually wipe the crud from your eye,
} probably clear your throat of the phlegm, and go pee. Some people
} (mostly men) like to ejaculate three or four times while they are
} going through this wakeup ritual. You may never have understood
} before, that all these substances coming from your body are the
} various parts of the Narcoids bodies, their skin, bones, guts and
} so on. But now you do!
}
} You owe the Oracle a copy of the song "Mr. Sandman".


239-05    (15763 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: jonmon@cadence.com

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

>  Oracle most wise, please tell me why I have to take my finals at eight
> o' clock in the morning.  Except on the day that I can leave after my
> last final when I have a 3 hour final at 3:30 in the afternoon.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

}       Lets look at a typical finals week:
}
}       On Saturday, you vow that this term will be different than all of
} the previous terms, and you will study dilligently for all of your
} classes, and get A's on all.  So you study on Saturday.
}
}       On Sunday evening, after another day of studying (and an afternoon
} of watching football on TV), you convince your girlfriend that you don't
} need to study that night and you convince her to bring her bag of
} goodies and stay the night with you.
}
}       On Monday morning, after three gallons of baby oil, two small
} furry animals, and a quart of homemade ice cream, you wake up feeling
} good.  You go to your eight o'clock final and, not having slept enough
} the night before, proceed to dream about last night.  After time is up,
} you realize that you haven't answered a single question.
}
}       On Monday afternoon, your now ex-girlfriend tells you that because
} of last night, she failed her final, and now she doesn't ever want to
} speak to you again.  You head straight to the nearest bar, planning to
} drown your sorrows.  You finally stagger into your room and pass out at
} about 3:30 am.
}
}       Tuesday morning (somehow you remembered to set your alarm clock
} the night before), you get up at about 7:45, rush to your final.  Since
} you haven't had any solid food for over 24 hours, you get violently ill
} and throw up on your instructor.  After being thrown out of the final,
} you go home to sleep it off.  After nine hours of sleep, you get up and
} tell yourself that you need to study for Wednesday's final.  So you take
} half a dozen No-Doz, and study.
}
}       Wednesday, you get up, drink three cups of coffee, and head out to
} your final.  After 30 minutes, your bladder starts sending threatening
} messages to your brain.  You ask to go, but your professor has heard
} about yesterday, and refuses to let you out.  You hold out for another
} 10 minutes, then your bladder lets go.  The professor kicks you out,
} giving you a long lecture about proper finals week behavior.
}
}       On Thursday morning, you realize that you don't have a ride home
} from school (you were going to ride home with your girlfriend, but she's
} not talking to you), so you frantically look for anyone going anyplace
} remotely near to your town.  You can't find anyone who will be around
} until 7 pm.  Its time for your last final, and you haven't even looked
} at the material since Sunday morning.  Your professor, having heard
} about your exploits of the two previous days, sits you in the back
} corner of the room so that you won't bother anyone else.  You are too
} busy worrying that you will have to spend all break at school, that you
} can't concentrate on your test, and you don't pass this one either.
}
}
} You owe the Oracle an air sickness bag, a box of Pampers, and a bus
} ticket to Hoboken.


239-06    (32a34 dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: sci34hub!eng3!eng3!felton@uunet.UU.NET

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> O great Usenet Oracle, why are there so many references to Domino's
> Pizza in the Bible?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} What translation are you using?  Let the Oracle have a look at that...
} silly, that's not a Bible, that's a Domino's Pizza advertising flyer!
} Where _did_ you get the idea that it's a Bible?
}
} And you've gone and founded a church based on this pizza ad flyer.
} Crazy.  Give the Oracle a look at one of those prayer books you've had
} printed.  Thanks.  <flip, flip, flip, riffle of pages to random spot>
} Lessee here...
}
}    Priest: O Lord, lead us to righteousness.
}    People: And grant us three extra toppings for the price of two.
}    Priest: Praise ye the Lord, who has made the thin crust and the
}            thick, the veggie toppings and the meaty, and all the sauce.
}    People: Yum, yum, yum.
}
} My, that's quite silly.  The guy who runs Domino's is a staunch
} Catholic, and the Oracle is sure he'll find this very very funny.  Too
} bad that nopbody else will, and so this won't even get into the
} collected Oracularities.  Oh well, that's life.
}
} Actually Domino's isn't that good.
}
} You owe the Oracle a "Noid" doll and a Pizza Hut Personal Pan Pizza to
} throw in your face.


239-07    (16753 dist, 3.1 mean)
Selected-By: The Great Squid

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Is it true that people with hypnotic blue eyes can actally hypnotise
> people and is this how they always get the gorgeous girls?
>
> And if they can, what do they do with them when they have them in their
> power?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Yes, it has been proven that males with hypnotic blue eyes can sometimes
} hypnotize gorgeous girls into obeying their every whim.  This is due to
} a rare genetic recessive trait that is believed to also be related to
} blond hair and overdeveloped biceps.
}
} And, of course, all that these blue-eyed wonders want with a gorgeous
} girl is to f*** her brains out.  However, the hypnotic effect has been
} known to backfire on a semi-regular basis.
}
} As part of the mating ceremony, usually the lights are turned down very
} low.  This reduces the number of photons leaving the male's blue eyes
} and entering his victim's eyes, which in turn weakens the hypnotic
} effect.  Many times, the two persons will be almost completely disrobed
} and very excited before the spell starts to wear off.  Suddenly, the
} female will realize what is going on and say that phrase that makes all
} men cringe:
}
} "I don't think this is the right thing for us to do."
}
} which completely breaks the spell and sends the blue-eyed boy into fits
} of anger and frustration.
}
} You owe the oracle a pair of blue-tinted contact lenses and a lifetime
} supply of 400-watt light bulbs.


239-08    (24673 dist, 3.2 mean)
Selected-By: Christopher Pettus <cep@apple.com>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Dearest Oracle -- what can I do to ensure that I am accepted to graduate
> school?  Would you write me a letter of recommendation?  Please?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} December 1, 1990
}
} The Oracle
} 1 Wisdom Road
} University of Indiana Department of Computer Science
} Indianapolis, IN  45738
}
} Snooty Graduate School
} Ivy League University
} Small Town, East Coast State  01234
}
} To whom it may concern:
}
} It has recently come to my attention that four years of college just
} isn't enough for <INSERT NAME HERE>, and s/he's interested in four to
} eight more years of self-flagellation at the feet of ivy-covered
} professors with the added attraction of simultaneously assembling thirty
} to sixty pages of intelligent new material in a subject area which has
} been beaten to death already by old men with prostrate problems.
}
} Anyone who has been involved with higher education knows that it takes a
} special sort of student to survive the rigours of graduate study, and
} <INSERT NAME HERE> certainly fits that description.  On the Usenet I am
} seen as a univeral perveyor of wisdom and many people ask me questions
} about their personal lives.  Over the past few years, I have really
} gotten to know <INSERT NAME HERE> through these consultations, and have
} helped him/her through the many varied problems of his/her personal
} life, from his/her realization that s/he's been lusting after his/her
} mother since the age of five to the diagnosis and treatment of his/her
} addiction to coffee, which originated in his/her obsession with Twin
} Peaks.  Because of these consultations, I feel that I can truly say that
} I know what makes <INSERT NAME HERE> tick.
}
} I recommend <INSERT NAME HERE> for your graduate program fully and
} without reservation.
}
} Sincerely,
}
} The Usenet Oracle.
}
}
} You owe the Oracle an honorary Ph.D.  when you become president of
} Harvard.


239-09    (43a32 dist, 2.8 mean)
Selected-By: Christopher Pettus <cep@apple.com>

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Tip tip! Jolly good show, Jeeves old bean. Miss Appleton completely
> fell for your gag, thinking that I was some natty cricket sportsman
> like the bright chaps you see in pictures and that Bingo was a failed
> cockatoo, when all along he giving up the game, putting the bat before
> the ball on purp. as per your suggestion, for my benefit, and to throw
> himself wild to the wind and out of the limelight. This broke the
> rummy and unholy union from which Bingo meant to extricate himself.
>
> A good thing too, because the bird Miss A. sponsors with zest the most
> hateful grimaces against a man's pleasurable eccentricities such as
> gambling and drinking, and does not seem to know the meaning of a good
> bar of soap.  Had you the faintest i. that soap comes from animal
> lard, what do you make of that ball of whatever-you-please? I mean who
> ever in Dark Ages had the good sense to pick up a chunk of animal
> grease and rub it all over his face and the like to make this
> discovery? It is a fightening world we live in, a point which I shall
> now address.
>
> I say, you old tarnish on a silver nameplate, Miss Appleton now seems
> to have turned her ghastly affections towards me! Never the likes have
> I seen, Jeeves. Apparently sportsmen appeal to her, something of which
> you might have warned me. Crust! Like a homeing-pigeon she is. This
> must be how dashed flighty Hamlet felt upon strolling innocently and
> being rather pounced on mightly by his old man's ghost justing popping
> up for some fresh air and go tittering about this or that latest
> gossip. Why I have the merest spot of faith in you I've no knowledge,
> but if you could please advise, I would much appreciate giving the
> slip to this particular iron grip.
>
> Ta ta in much gloom,
>
> Bertie Wooster

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} I say, good show old chap about the Previous success.  The Oracle is
} always glad to be of assistence.  But it seems that you have gotten into
} a bit of a sticky wicket!  Fear not, the Oracle again has the answer.
}
} As to the soap question, it was/is/will be destined at just about all
} things will be tried at least one, twice if it's pleasurable.  Thus the
} Oracle acknowledges that someone would pick up a chunk of animal grease
} and rub it all over his face and the like to make this discovery.
}
} Well, ol' bean, the only solution to Miss Appleton is to totally break
} the image you have presented of a natty sportsman.  Go have a rousing
} game of cricket and lose like you've never lost before.  Then go drown
} your sorrow in your loss at a local pub, about 9 pints of beer should do
} it.  In your druken stuper tell her you lost your entire fortune because
} you bet everything you had on the match.  Before she can respond, walk
} out to a public fountain and jump in with a bar of soap, and proceed to
} bathe in your clothes.
}
} This will make it so you won't have to worry about Miss Appleton's
} affections anymore.
}
} You owe the Oracle a lifetime suplly of soap for this answer.


239-10    (04288 dist, 3.9 mean)
Selected-By: MZINTL@vmsd.oac.uci.edu

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Just what is Spam and how was it created?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Spam was born in a Monty Python sketch in the Green Midget Cafe, where
} the Vikings regrouped after they set sail on May the 23rd.  Then spam
} selected the spam particular spam item from the spam menu, and spam spam
} spam spam spam spam spam spam lovely spam! lovely spam, lovely spam!
} lovely spam.
}
} You spam owe the spam Oracle a plate of spam, egg, sausage, and spam for
} breakspamfast.
} ^D
} Message from oracle-sup on ttyp0 at 3:21 ...
} No good, no good!  I want you to rewrite that question and make it GOOD!
} If I see you trying to steal from Monty Python again, I'll throw you out
} of school for plagiarism!
} % write oracle-sup
} Sorry, sir... I mean, professor... I mean, MASTER!
} -o
} Now get to work!
} -oo
} EOF
} ^D
}
} And you thought YOUR final exams were tough...
}
} OK, Spam was developed by the British Army, who was searching for a food
} that could withstand nuclear attack and still come out edible.  It's an
} acronym for Sickening Plastic Artificial Meat.
}
} You owe the Oracle the chemical makeup of Spam jelly.
} ^D
} Message from oracle-sup on ttyp0 at 3:24 ...
} Come on, get with the program!  4 lines?  That's ridiculous!
} -o
} % write oracle-sup
} OK, OK, you forced me into it, I'll give them a proper answer.
} -oo
} You better!
} EOF
} ^D
}
} Once upon a time, little Billy Bunny was hopping along, near the
} brook that bubbled through the green grass, munching on the tenderest
} of the blades.  Nice Mr. Sun shined happily over the field and watched
} over all the little forest creatures.  It was a wonderful life.
} But this wasn't enough for Billy Bunny.  One day he told his mom
} that he was going to leave his happy life in the green green meadow
} to seek out his fortune.
}
} "What?!  You can't leave the meadow!  No one has ever left the
} meadow!  And those who stray too close to the edge are never seen
} again!"  Mom Bunny was shaking her little foot at him.
}
} "They probably found out it was a lot better!" Billy countered, making
} the fatal mistake of trying to use logic with his parents.
}
} Mom Bunny cowered.  "Oh, I think the edge of the meadow is dreadful.
} I think it's very dangerous.  I don't want you going near it.  Whatever
} happened to all those animals must be frightening."  She pulled her
} little sweater over her shoulders.
}
} "Oh, come on, Mom, get a grip!" Billy said, trying to sound like Bart
} Simpson on TV.
}
} "Don't talk to your mother like that!" Pa Rabbit said, smacking Billy
} across the chops, sending him flying.  "You're going to bed without
} your supper!"
}
} Little Billy cowered in the hole in the grass he called his bed.  He
} couldn't sleep; no one can sleep when they're hungry, but he couldn't
} tell his parents that; he had already tried to be logical with them
} ONCE tonight.  His parents were obviously always awful to him.  So he
} decided to run away that night.
}
} He made a mad dash through the grass, bouncing and bouncing over the
} tufts and flowers.  Old Mr. Moon gazed at him menacingly, the cold glow
} giving Billy shivers.  With a mighty leap, he bounded over a large
} patch of clover and fell straight into the brook, now a tumbling stream
} of treacherous eddies and whirls.  Old Man Moon smirked sinisterly as
} Billy tumbled down the stream, the shifts of current pulling him under
} and threatening to drown him.
}
} Billy pulled himself out of the river, throwing up water with every
} step.  There was a funny taste in his mouth, the likes of which he had
} never experienced in the happy, carefree life of the meadow.
} Unbeknownst to him but knownst to us, he has washed into the Thames,
} and he had just swallowed a near-fatal dose of the most lethal
} environmental toxins known to that era of British history.
}
} Well of course, Billy hit puberty a few minutes after that, found a
} female bunny whose internal timer had also just gone off, and proceeded
} to do it in the grass.  And of course, since rabbits don't know about
} birth control, they had lots of children.  But these were not ordinary
} bunnies.  They acted more like pigs.  The toxic waste had damaged
} Billy's reproductive organs and his very own genetic code.
}
} OK, I've hit my mandatory 50 lines, so to make a long story short, the
} British government find the children, breed a lot of them, and they
} make Spam out of the mutated bunnies.  OK?  The end.
}
} You owe the Oracle a copy of his final exam.
} Message from oracle-sup on ttyp0 at 4:05 ...
} Not bloody likely.
} EOF


© Copyright 1989-2017 The Internet OracleTM a Kinzler.com offering Contact oracle-web@internetoracle.org