} Sorry for the delay. The Oracle just had His systems cleaned of junk in
} I don't know *how* long, and it felt sooooo good, I lost track of time.
} Let's see, you're question number 27271.....
} Ah. Yes, Rubber Man, you have discovered the true nature of your
} existence. (And didn't you ever wonder about your name? A lot of Us
} thought you might never figure this out, but bravo!) You are, in fact,
} made of rubber, a very flexible, heat-resistant, vulcanized rubber. You
} aren't steel-belted, however, and so it is possible for you to have
} these little "accidents" (i.e., lose a finger, rip off an arm, etc.), so
} be careful! If you fall over and start bouncing uncontrolably, it would
} take three people to stop you, although this might be fun with the right
} three people.
} Now, it follows logically that if your flesh is made of rubber, then so
} are your organs. And your blood is the candy-type material of green
} Gummi Bears (TM). When clotting occurs (as it does; otherwise you'd
} bleed to death), it can actually resemble the little critters, who
} occupy a sub-leased plot of land inside Disney World (TM) in Florida.
} Not many mortals know that. Thus, what is happening to you is just a
} nosebleed. Pinch your nose when this happens, and tilt your head back.
} You'll be fine.
} With regard to the wombat, here you have a serious problem. Your great-
} grandfather was a very intelligent man; he knew what your condition
} would be, as well of Willy the Wombat, which is why he comes to you in
} visions to warn you. Don't be fooled by Willy's name; this is the most
} foul-tempered creature you'll ever come across in your lifetime. You
} see, the smell of green Gummi Bears (TM again) sets Willy off, makes him
} crazy. He's been cutting a wide swath of destruction, laying waste to
} convenience stores and candy markets, and he's coming right for you.
} Keep your eyes peeled. He'll rip through your rubber-skin to gobble up
} your blood, and this will, unfortunately, kill you.
} But being made of rubber is not the end of the world. There are a lot
} of positive qualities to your lifestyle. For instance, the fingers
} you've lost can be glued back on. And,being rubber, you can do amazing
} things with your tongue, and condoms will feel natural to you. So
} enjoy! And watch out for Willy, the wily and wicked wombat.
} You owe the Oracle three Gummi Bears (TM for the last time), and some of
} your skin to throw against the wall when I'm bored.