259-01 (47241 dist, 2.5 mean)
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
> The Oracularities used to be an awe inspiring, mind broadening,
> right-thinking, All-American, God-fearing, bookshelf dusting, pie
> baking, kinky sex playacting, stacking Tupperware Klein-bottle
> promoting, omniscience boosting pile of good clean fun. But now its a
> Hell-raising, God-logging-on-and-stupid-message-writing, Ohio-bashing,
> Lisa-worshipping, eye-poking, doorknob-cleaning, gas-guzzling,
> cat-raping forum for iconoclastic idiomatic cliquish aggrandizement.
> What happened?
> You owe the Questioner a good answer and some of Lisa's toenail polish.
} Yeah! YEAH! Damn right. A steady influx of dweebs and retirement of
} good old boys, that's the problem. Used to be only devoted,
} industrious, honest-to-God neurotic closet comedians spoke to Me. Or at
} least genuine scruff-ball hackers. Why, when I was a youngster, we had
} to deliver E-Mail by hand, and go back the next day to verify reception
} in person. None of this pansy mailer daemon stuff. We used to crawl on
} our hands and knees, dragging our faces along the asphalt for hundreds
} of miles just to get a question to the then Oracle. Then we would
} perform devotional services which involved hacking off our limbs
} repeatedly, roasting them on a spit and eating them with A-1 sauce, just
} so the Oracle would give us a good answer. Then the Oracle retired and
} I took over, and I tell you it's been downhill ever since. Not a SINGLE
} person has barbequed his liver for Me since I don't know when.
} Obnoxious twerps just call Me names, give me stupid answers when I quiz
} them and keep trying to get at my sweetheart, the BIG L. Makes Me wish
} for the good old days before Federal regulations prevented Me from
} frying petitioners for the hell of it, but now I need to get my DOD
} grant renewed every year and can only fry the people they want fried, so
} I get no respect.
} I'll forgive you for asking for Lisa's toenail polish because I can see
} you're one of the last remaining, disgruntled good-old-boys. And 'cause
} I'm not allowed to fry you anyway, dammit. Just send Me a check and
} I'll endorse it over to the war effort. (Sigh)