} Okay, dude. While the Smurfs in general are very eager and cheerful,
} they can't get at Smurfette. She wears an industrial strength chastity
} belt, that only Papa Smurf has the key to. This keeps most of the
} Smurfs away, except, of course, Handy Smurf. (They never could keep him
} out of stuff.) Anyway, this is only two Smurfs that have "access" to
} Smurfette. Handy is usually more interested in his tools, and Papa
} Smurf hasn't bee functioning too well lately, and, well, magic can only
} do so much. Remember that one episode of the Smurfs where they had a
} magic egg? Everyone was turning themselves into Papa Smurf, right?
} Well, I'll give you three guesses as to why, and the first two don't
} count, get my drift?
} By the way, all the Smurfs love metal, but a good Thrash band will make
} them go nuts.
} You owe the Oracle a copy of the July '87 issue of Playtoon. (The one
} with the neat spread on morning cartoon females... OUCH!)