} The Plaintiff... he got jipped when a friend offered "a penny for your
} thoughts." (that annoying typewriter clacking noise...)
} The Defendant... Claims she was only speaking metaphorically,and
} wouldn't pay for lewd comments about ferrets even if she *was* serious
} (same annoying clacking noise)
} "A penny for your ferrets?... Today on the Oracle's Court.( Judge
} Oracle Wopner presiding)"
} *AHEM* will the defendant please approach the bench? Now, in your own
} words, please describe what happened.
} Defendant: Well, Mr. Judge,sir, I went up to my friend and began a
} conversation. A penny for your thoughts, I said. I didn't expect him
} to take me seriously. But then he started talking about how he pictured
} me and a few ferrets...
} | Censored by ABC central, this |
} | is a family net you know!!! |
} ... so naturally I slapped the pig and walked off in a huff. The next
} thing I know, I get this call from Doug Llewellan telling me to show up
} Judge O.: I see. thank you. Will the plaintiff please approach the
} bench? Now, just what did you have in mind when you talked to the
} Plaintiff: Well, like she said...
} | Censored yet again, and this is |
} | your final warning Judge O. One |
} | more word about ferrets and we |
} | will be forced to shut you down. |
} ... so then she walked off without giving me my penny. So I took her
} to court.
} Judge O.: Waitaminute, you say that you've done *THAT* before??
} Would... would you happen to have any pictures of that by any chance??
} Plaintiff: Uh, yeah sure.
} Judge O.: good. Come closer to the bench. (whispers)
} Now,listen,Plaintiff, Normally I wouldn't be able to help you get this
} penny. You see, I'm bound to uphold the laws and since you don't have a
} receipt, I can't rule in your favor. But if you could get me some of
} those pictures, I might be able to look the other way while my
} stenographer "finds" you a receipt. Whaddaya say?
} Plaintiff: I'll get 'em to ya by the end of the day, Judge.
} Judge O.: Court is in recess until I make my decision. (turns to
} stenographer) Edith, I'd like to talk to you for a moment...
} (ten minutes later)
} Judge O.: Well, Miss Smarty-Pants defendant, it seems you overlooked
} one small detail. In the recess a court employee...*AHEM*... found
} this receipt!!!! It clearly shows that you did in fact purchase the
} Plaintiff's thought for the price of $0.01 . Now I suggest you pay up.
} After all it's only a measly little penny. Court finds the defendant
} Plaintiff: Thanks Judge Oracle...
} Judge O.: No problem,son.
} This concludes today's episode of... "The Oracle's Court"
} You owe the Oracle those pictures of the ferr...
} URGH!!! System crash. Core dumped.
} | Don't say we didn't warn you |
} | "Not another word," I believe |
} | we said... |